Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over the essentials of
history
.
While
some people hold a strong view that one of the most significant school
subjects
is
history
, the opposite side makes a statement that
history
is not as crucial as
science
and
technology
currently.
While
each opinion has its own redeeming features, I would contend that it is optimal to combine both mentioned elements. Without a shadow of a doubt, it is essential for students to absorb historical knowledge at their schools.
Because the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
main reason is that all citizens should know about their
history
, culture and tradition.
For example
, in Vietnam, all students who get access to tertiary education, have a firm grasp of
history
about some glorious victories like Vietnamese ancestors fought against the Americans from 1956 to 1972.
Hence
,
history
plays
such
a paramount important role in
schools
Change the noun form
school
show examples
education nowadays.
While
the significance of
history
subjects
is widely acknowledged, it is unfair if that of
science
and
technology
is ignored.
Well
Add the punctuation
Well,
show examples
the first thing I should mention is that it is pivotal for people to absorb knowledge of scientific and
technology
subjects
at school.
This
is probably because
science
is deeply interwoven with our lives every day of the year and from the moment we wake up, all day long, and through the night.
In specific
Rephrase
Specifically
show examples
, we need electricity to power our computers,
smartphones
Correct word choice
and smartphones
show examples
and keep the lights on.
Thus
, it is advisable for people to learn those
subjects
at
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
. In conclusion,
subjects
such
as
history
,
science
and
technology
should be put priority on in
this
day and age.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your thesis, giving a brief outline of the views you will discuss.
task achievement
Develop each paragraph with a clear main idea and provide specific examples to support your arguments. Abstract examples, such as the ones about Vietnamese history and everyday science, need to be more detailed and directly related to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices effectively to help structure your arguments and link ideas, Be mindful of using these devices to avoid repetition or redundancy.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphs, each dedicated to a particular point of view or aspect of the argument. Consistency in paragraph structure aids in coherence.
task achievement
Your conclusion should encapsulate the key points made throughout the essay and reflect back on the thesis, providing a decisive opinion or summary.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Historical perspective
  • Analytical skills
  • Contextual understanding
  • Technological advancements
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
  • Innovation
  • Interdisciplinary
  • Job market
  • Climate crisis
  • Cultural identity
  • Critical thinking
  • Humanities
  • Contemporary issues
  • Integration
  • Tech-savvy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: