The line graph and pie chart below show band information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Two different graphs
such
as the line graph and pie chart illustrate the distribution of percentages of both genders and their ages in offense
in the United Kingdom.
Change the spelling
offence
Firstly
, it is immediately noticeable that men are consist
minority of offenders in the UK Correct your spelling
a consistent
by
96% . Change preposition
apply
In
contrast
women constitute only 4 percent.
Add a comma
contrast,
Secondly
, looking from
the line graph it is obvious that Change preposition
at
since
10 years the proportions of all convictions sharply increase Change preposition
in
untill
15 , from 2% to 16 by men , respectively with 0 to 5 . Correct your spelling
until
Furthermore
, the high quantities of criminals between male
and Fix the agreement mistake
males
female
are among 15 to 20 years but the percentage of men Fix the agreement mistake
females
more
than 11%. Add a missing verb
is more
Moreover
since 20 years the old proportion of convictions dramatically collapsed Add a comma
Moreover,
untill
60 Correct your spelling
until
also
the male percentage more
Add a missing verb
is more
2
% than Change preposition
than 2
female
.
Looking from an Correct article usage
the female
overall
perspective the young generation commit
Correct subject-verb agreement
commits
the
more crimes than the old population in Correct article usage
apply
the
Britain .Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by abdurahimov03 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼