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Band 6

The line graph and pie chart below show band information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph and pie chart below show band information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #show #band #information #crime #uk #year #summarise #features #comparisons
Two different graphs
such
 as the line graph and pie chart illustrate the distribution of percentages of both genders and their ages in
offense
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offence
show examples
 in the United Kingdom.
Firstly
 , it is immediately noticeable that men are
consist
Correct your spelling
a consistent
show examples
 minority of offenders in the UK
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
96% .
In
contrast
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contrast,
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 women constitute only 4 percent.
Secondly
 , looking
from
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the line graph it is obvious that
since
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in
show examples
 10 years the proportions of all convictions sharply increase
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 15 , from 2% to 16 by men , respectively with 0 to 5 .
Furthermore
 , the high quantities of criminals between
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 are among 15 to 20 years but the percentage of men
more
Add a missing verb
is more
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 than 11%.
Moreover
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Moreover,
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 since 20 years the old proportion of convictions dramatically collapsed
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 60
also
 the male percentage
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
2
Change preposition
than 2
show examples
% than
female
Correct article usage
the female
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 . Looking from an
overall
 perspective the young generation
commit
Correct subject-verb agreement
commits
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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more crimes than the old population in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Britain .
Submitted by abdurahimov03 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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