IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The line graph and pie chart below show band information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph and pie chart below show band information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #show #band #information #crime #uk #year #summarise #features #comparisons
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Two different graphs
such
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 as the line graph and pie chart illustrate the distribution of percentages of both genders and their ages in
offense
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offence
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 in the United Kingdom.
Firstly
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 , it is immediately noticeable that men are
consist
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a consistent
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 minority of offenders in the UK
by
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apply
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96% .
In
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contrast
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contrast,
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 women constitute only 4 percent.
Secondly
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 , looking
from
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at
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 the line graph it is obvious that
since
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in
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 10 years the proportions of all convictions sharply increase
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 15 , from 2% to 16 by men , respectively with 0 to 5 .
Furthermore
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 , the high quantities of criminals between
male
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males
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 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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 are among 15 to 20 years but the percentage of men
more
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is more
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 than 11%.
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Moreover
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Moreover,
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 since 20 years the old proportion of convictions dramatically collapsed
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 60
also
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 the male percentage
more
Add a missing verb
is more
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2
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than 2
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% than
female
Correct article usage
the female
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 . Looking from an
overall
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 perspective the young generation
commit
Correct subject-verb agreement
commits
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the
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apply
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more crimes than the old population in
the
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apply
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Britain .
Submitted by abdurahimov03 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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