The line graph and pie chart below show band information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#line #show #band #information #crime #uk #year #summarise #features #comparisons

Two different graphs

such

as the line graph and pie chart illustrate the distribution of percentages of both genders and their ages in

offense

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offence

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in the United Kingdom.

Firstly

, it is immediately noticeable that men are

consist

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a consistent

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minority of offenders in the UK

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apply

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96% .

contrast

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contrast,

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women constitute only 4 percent.

Secondly

, looking

from

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the line graph it is obvious that

since

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10 years the proportions of all convictions sharply increase

untill

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until

15 , from 2% to 16 by men , respectively with 0 to 5 .

Furthermore

, the high quantities of criminals between

male

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males

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and

female

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females

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are among 15 to 20 years but the percentage of men

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is more

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than 11%.

Moreover

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Moreover,

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since 20 years the old proportion of convictions dramatically collapsed

untill

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until

also

the male percentage

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is more

show examples

Change preposition

than 2

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% than

female

Correct article usage

the female

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. Looking from an

overall

perspective the young generation

commit

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commits

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

more crimes than the old population in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Britain .

Submitted by abdurahimov03 on Fri Nov 24 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

158 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The line graph and pie chart below show band information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company or organization. Might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some parents believe that their children should do extra-curricular activities after school. Others say in this way children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In the United Kingdom, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family. g

Some parents buy their kids a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages of a child having a large number of toys?

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