in many developing countries ,there is a problem with decline quality of air and water from both industry and construction .what measures could be taken to prevent this ?

Human needs and wants lead to new advancements in technology. The developments in industries and constructions cause detrimental effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
quality
of
air
and
water
in many developing nations. To avoid
such
adversities, it is crucial for both the society and the
government
of the nations to take immediate measures and
this
essay will explain the solution. It is not a hidden secret that, in the chase for increasing economy and
quality
of life in their country, everyone
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
adapting
Correct your spelling
adopting
show examples
many new technologies and encouraging industrialization.
However
,
this
is leading to many consequences
such
as
increase
Add an article
an increase
the increase
show examples
in
pollution
and
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
of basic necessities
such
as breathing
air
and drinking
water
and causing many deaths.
For instance
,
people
from an Indian village consumed polluted
water
which was contaminated by the discharge from the factory
near
Rephrase
nearby
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
their health conditions detrimentally. And same goes for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
constructions
Fix the agreement mistake
construction
show examples
, as it release a lot of carbon that was present in cement and concrete, which is later inhaled by the workers and common
people
. It is high time that the
government
took
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
into its
hands
Correct word choice
own hands
show examples
and
made
Verb problem
took
show examples
necessary actions to regulate
this
. The
officials
should start organising the places and areas
accordingly
by measuring the
Air
Quality
Index and
Water
Quality
Index of the places and
appoint
Wrong verb form
appointing
show examples
workers. These
people
are required not only to assist in conducting campaigns in
those area
Change the determiner
that area
those areas
show examples
so that the residents of the cities and towns get aware of the situations and their impedent problems, but
also
to evaluate the pollutants and carbon emissions from factories,
construction
Correct word choice
and construction
show examples
sites to report back to the
government
.
This
helps the higher
officials
to understand and plan how to regulate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution
.
Moreover
, it is crucial for the citizens to cooperate with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government
officials
and start taking recommended measures to help fight
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pollution
in the country.
To conclude
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
, as the concern over
decrease
Add an article
the decrease
show examples
in
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
of
air
and
water
due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
industry and construction increases in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developing countries, it is important for both the
people
and the
officials
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
nation to take action together to fight against
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution
by regulating
emission
Add an article
the emission
show examples
of carbon and waste discharges.
Submitted by tejanavyapc2000 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from a clearer structure, with distinct introductory, body, and conclusion paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea, which is then elaborated upon.
coherence cohesion
The main points require more comprehensive development. Ideas could be strengthened with the addition of more specific examples, statistics or reports to support the argument.
task achievement
For a higher score in task achievement, ensure that all parts of the prompt are directly addressed with relevant points. Consistently link the ideas back to the prompt question to demonstrate complete task response.
coherence cohesion
To make the content more compelling, incorporate varied sentence structures, and a wider vocabulary to convey your points effectively, avoiding repetition of words and phrases.
task achievement
Add more precise examples; real-world scenarios involving particular studies or environmental reports would enhance your argument and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Though the essay presents a proper introduction and conclusion, both could be fine-tuned to establish a strong thesis in the introduction and succinctly summarize key points in the conclusion.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!