IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?.

#people #work #company #organisation #be #case
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In today's
economy
Add a comma
economy,
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 more and more
people
Use synonyms
 are choosing to
work
Use synonyms
 for themselves and be
self- employed
Correct your spelling
self-employed
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instead
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 of being an employee as they want a more flexible
life -
Correct your spelling
life-work
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work
Use synonyms
 balance ,but
this
Linking Words
 could lead to some obstacles which they would need to overcome in order to be successful.
Firstly
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,
people
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 who
owned
Wrong verb form
own
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their own
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business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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 have more
chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
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 to get choices
rather
Rephrase
apply
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than
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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work
Use synonyms
 for others.
This
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 is because when individuals
work
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 for others ,they have to
follows
Change the verb
follow
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 their rules but if they are self -
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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 they can do their
business
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 as want as they want .
For example
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, the owner can close their
business
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,
can
Verb problem
apply
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 take a break or even
can
Verb problem
apply
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expand their own
business
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 when they want at any time.
Furthermore
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,non- staff person are they have more time to do
the
Correct article usage
apply
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others
Change noun form
other's
others'
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 activities
while
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 they can manage their
working life
Add a hyphen
working-life
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 balance.
Secondly
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, freelance
business
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people
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 are more high
risks
Use synonyms
 taking person.Taking
risks
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 like
this
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can cost
people
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considerable
Add an article
a considerable
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 amount of money because they have to invest a lot of money
on
Change preposition
in
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 their
business
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.
Some time
Replace the word
Sometimes
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 it can
lead to resulting
Wrong verb form
result
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 in debt and can
also
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 put a lot of strain on their families or other
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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.
In addition
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, that kind of
Use synonyms
risks
Fix the agreement mistake
risk
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 indeed stressful because they can lose everything if they
difficulties
Add a missing verb
have difficulties
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to deal
Change the verb form
dealing
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 with their problems.
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Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 it can lead to
mentally troubled
Replace the word
mental trouble
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 as well. In conclusion,individuals
more
Add a missing verb
are more
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 and more trying to become
a
Remove the article
apply
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self- employment
Correct your spelling
self-employment
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 because they can manage their working life and freedom to
work
Use synonyms
 at
anytime
Replace the word
any time
show examples
.
However
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, they should consider
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the high
risks
Use synonyms
 as well and should prepare for that challenge
how
Correct word choice
and how
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 to overcome
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
those
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 obstacles.
Submitted by eiphaung32 on

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task achievement
The essay provides a basic response to the prompts; however, there are issues with clarity and relevance. Ensure that the main ideas directly answer the question and that specific, relevant examples are included to support your points. Expand your answers with more detailed explanations and examples to show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is apparent, but could be enhanced. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph, and make sure each main point is elaborated upon with well-connected arguments and examples. Transitions between points can be smoothed out with better linking phrases and cohesive devices.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
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