IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the proportion of students aged 18-25 studying in the universities of Singapore, Malaysia, Philippines and Thailand from 1961 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph shows the proportion of students aged 18-25 studying in the universities of Singapore, Malaysia, Philippines and Thailand from 1961 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph depicts the percentage of 18-25 years old in universities in 4 different countries that called Singapore, Thailand,
Correct article usage
the Philpines
show examples
Philpines
Correct your spelling
Philippines
 and Malaysia from 1961 to 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was a high point of rates as the Thailander pupils had learned in universities since 2011.
In contrast
Linking Words
, it hit its lowest point
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 Malaysian students in 2011.
Another countries
Replace the adjective
Another country
Other countries
show examples
 as
Correct article usage
the Philipines
show examples
Philipines
Correct your spelling
Philippines
show examples
 and Singapore had recorded in below Thailand or over Malaysia since 2011.
According to
Linking Words
 the passage, in 1961 experienced a primary beginning of all four nations in the percentage of 18-25 students. After that, the
Filipinos
Replace the word
Filipino
show examples
 pupils
rised
Correct your spelling
raised
rise
rose
 straightly for 6 periods from lower
5
Change preposition
than 5
show examples
Use synonyms
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
 to almost 15
Use synonyms
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
, it saw
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 unstable growth
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Singapore, which reached
at
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 peak of 40
Use synonyms
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the amount of ratios in Thailand reached a dip at 20
Use synonyms
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
 in 1991 before it went up for the most effective education with over 45
Use synonyms
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
 in 2011.
Finally
Linking Words
, Malaysia climbed slowly for 4 eras from 1961 to 1991 and
stay
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 unchanged
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 15
Use synonyms
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
 between 1991 and 2011.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percents with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • higher education
  • trend
  • contrast
  • significant
  • increase
  • decrease
  • plateau
  • governmental policies
  • economic situations
  • cultural attitudes
  • education growth
  • correlation
  • historical events
  • political events
  • projection
What to do next:
Look at other essays: