The line graph shows the proportion of students aged 18-25 studying in the universities of Singapore, Malaysia, Philippines and Thailand from 1961 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph shows the proportion of students aged 18-25 studying in the universities of Singapore, Malaysia, Philippines and Thailand from 1961 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph depicts the percentage of 18-25 years old in universities in 4 different countries that called Singapore, Thailand,
Correct article usage
the Philpines
show examples
Philpines
Correct your spelling
Philippines
and Malaysia from 1961 to 2011.
Overall
, there was a high point of rates as the Thailander pupils had learned in universities since 2011.
In contrast
, it hit its lowest point
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Malaysian students in 2011.
Another countries
Replace the adjective
Another country
Other countries
show examples
as
Correct article usage
the Philipines
show examples
Philipines
Correct your spelling
Philippines
show examples
and Singapore had recorded in below Thailand or over Malaysia since 2011.
According to
the passage, in 1961 experienced a primary beginning of all four nations in the percentage of 18-25 students. After that, the
Filipinos
Replace the word
Filipino
show examples
pupils
rised
Correct your spelling
raised
rise
rose
straightly for 6 periods from lower
5
Change preposition
than 5
show examples
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
to almost 15
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
.
Then
, it saw
a
Change the article
an
show examples
unstable growth
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Singapore, which reached
at
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
peak of 40
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
.
Furthermore
, the amount of ratios in Thailand reached a dip at 20
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
in 1991 before it went up for the most effective education with over 45
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
in 2011.
Finally
, Malaysia climbed slowly for 4 eras from 1961 to 1991 and
stay
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
unchanged
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
15
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
between 1991 and 2011.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percents with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • higher education
  • trend
  • contrast
  • significant
  • increase
  • decrease
  • plateau
  • governmental policies
  • economic situations
  • cultural attitudes
  • education growth
  • correlation
  • historical events
  • political events
  • projection
What to do next:
Look at other essays: