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IELTS essay, topic: Nowadays many people choose ready-made food and refuse to cook at home, why and what are the advantages/disadvantages? Nowadays many people choose ready-made food and refuse to cook at home. Why do you think it happens? What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a choice?

#ielts #topic #people #food #cook #home #choice
Overall
, the percentage of people visiting the cinema once a month was highest amongst those aged 14 to 24
years-old
Correct your spelling
years
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,
and
Correct word choice
old and
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 lowest amongst those aged above 50.
In addition
, the figures for the
group
age
Replace the word
aged
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 above increased significantly about 10%
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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 between the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 1978 and 2008,
while
 all other groups with slight differences. From 1988 to 1998, an estimated rose of 20% of people
age
group
 25-34, 35-49 and above 50
years-old
Correct your spelling
years old
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 visited the cinema once a month.
This
 uptrend lasted 10 years, and
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
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 constant
since
Change preposition
from
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 1998 to 2008. Meanwhile, the
age
group
 14-24
years-old
Correct your spelling
years old
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 only inclined approximately 5% during 1988-1998. Very similar trends could be seen for all
age
group
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groups
show examples
. Beginning an
approximately
Change the adverb
approximate
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 decline of 5% and 20% for
age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 14-24 and 25-34 respectively, and
estimated
Correct article usage
an estimated
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 10% downtrend for both
age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 35-49 and above 50. All figures continued to rise over after the year 1988 to 2008.
Submitted by hanz.hyz326 on

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task achievement
You have not addressed the task's prompt regarding the increased consumption of ready-made food and the related advantages and disadvantages. Instead, you have presented information about cinema attendance, which is not relevant to the given essay topic. Please ensure you respond directly to the given task with appropriate content.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear logical structure and does not present a well-defined introduction or conclusion. You should include an introductory paragraph outlining the topic and your thesis statement, followed by body paragraphs with clear topic sentences, and a conclusive paragraph summarizing your main points and restating your position.
coherence and cohesion
Main points are not effectively supported with relevant details or examples. Each main point in your essay should be elaborated with precise information, evidence, or examples that are appropriately related to the topic of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • convenience
  • time-saving
  • busy schedules
  • availability
  • variety
  • affordable
  • meal preparation
  • cleanup
  • cuisines
  • ingredient availability
  • health implications
  • sodium
  • sugar
  • unhealthy fats
  • dietary-related health issues
  • environmental impact
  • plastic waste
  • environmental degradation
  • cooking skills
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