The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays, many countries in
this
world era in a race to achieve their aim with science. The key to many problems humans face is science to reduce hunger, finding
new cures and create a better economy. There is a Wrong verb form
find
cruical
Correct your spelling
crucial
critical
arguments
that Change the noun form
argument
puplic
should have Correct your spelling
public
the
priority and the essential goal of Correct article usage
apply
scientist
should make humans live better. In Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
i
will examine why Change the capitalization
I
i
agree with Change the capitalization
I
this
statment
.
Correct your spelling
statement
To begin
with, the scientist
's development benefits the people
's live
. Many invented cures and discoveries of technology bring Replace the word
lives
people
to a new era. For example
, hundred
years ago, someone who Correct article usage
a hundred
has
infected by the flu clse to Verb problem
was
die
because of the lack of cures and no knowledge about them. Wrong verb form
died
However
, scientist
invented Antibiotics that make us adapt Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
with
the flu. Change preposition
to
As a result
, scientist
make us safe.
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
Furthermore
, there are many countries especially
in Africa and Asia suffer from Add the comma(s)
, especially
an
invalid lands for agriculture but scientists took their science and knowledge advantages to help poor lands to make them valid. Correct article usage
apply
For Instance
, there are many people
and lands that benefit from the invention of the scientist
and change their live
.
In conclusion, Replace the word
lives
people
should be aware with
the benefits that Change preposition
of
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
made
and be Verb problem
have
appreciate
Replace the word
appreciative
with
Change preposition
of
.
Without Correct pronoun usage
them.
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
scientist
the world will end.Add a comma
scientist,
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coherence cohesion
Your introduction is clear, but it lacks a properly developed thesis statement that outlines your main points. The organization of your arguments is adequate; however, there is room for improvement in ensuring that each paragraph logically follows the previous one. Make sure to use a range of cohesive devices effectively.
task achievement
While you have addressed the task and presented some relevant ideas, the essay does not fully develop these ideas. More detailed explanations and more specific examples would strengthen your argument. Make sure you clearly express your opinion throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph focused on a single idea that is clearly elaborated upon to meet the task requirements thoroughly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.