IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Nowadays, many countries in
this
Linking Words
 world era in a race to achieve their aim with science. The key to many problems humans face is science to reduce hunger,
finding
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find
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 new cures and create a better economy. There is a
cruical
Correct your spelling
crucial
critical
arguments
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argument
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 that
puplic
Correct your spelling
public
 should have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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priority and the essential goal of
Use synonyms
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
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 should make humans live better. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will examine why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree with
this
Linking Words
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
.
To begin
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 with, the
scientist
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's development benefits the
people
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's
live
Replace the word
lives
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. Many invented cures and discoveries of technology bring
people
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 to a new era.
For example
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,
hundred
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a hundred
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 years ago, someone who
has
Verb problem
was
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 infected by the flu clse to
die
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died
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 because of the lack of cures and no knowledge about them.
However
Linking Words
,
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scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
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 invented Antibiotics that make us adapt
with
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to
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 the flu.
As a result
Linking Words
,
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scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
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 make us safe.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are many countries
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 in Africa and Asia suffer from
an
Correct article usage
apply
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invalid lands for agriculture but scientists took their science and knowledge advantages to help poor lands to make them valid.
For Instance
Linking Words
, there are many
people
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 and lands that benefit from the invention of the
scientist
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 and change their
live
Replace the word
lives
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. In conclusion,
people
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 should be aware
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the benefits that
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scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
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made
Verb problem
have
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 and be
appreciate
Replace the word
appreciative
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with
Change preposition
of
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.
Correct pronoun usage
them.
show examples
 Without
Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
scientist
Add a comma
scientist,
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 the world will end.

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Improvement Suggestions

2
coherence cohesion

Your introduction is clear, but it lacks a properly developed thesis statement that outlines your main points. The organization of your arguments is adequate; however, there is room for improvement in ensuring that each paragraph logically follows the previous one. Make sure to use a range of cohesive devices effectively.

task achievement

While you have addressed the task and presented some relevant ideas, the essay does not fully develop these ideas. More detailed explanations and more specific examples would strengthen your argument. Make sure you clearly express your opinion throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph focused on a single idea that is clearly elaborated upon to meet the task requirements thoroughly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
What to do next:
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