In many countries today insufficient respect is shown to older people. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What problems might this cause in society?

Recently decade has witnessed an amount of inappropriate behavior toward the elderly which widely occurred in various nations throughout the world. In my perspective, a variety of factors can play an essential role in the decrease of calmness. Apparently, there are some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
circumstances responsible for the decline of
respectness
Correct your spelling
respect
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
older people in the present time.
Firstly
, By having
such
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high pressure at the workplace, it is understandable that some might suffer from fatigue and tiredness which leads to some dramatic
change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
show examples
in the
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
of the youth. Plus, in order to keep up with the changing pace of the world, a large number of postgraduate people have to work in an exhausting and bad schedule
reluctantly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
In addition
, the care for the upper generation may decrease
due to
those factors. Regarding the above statement, it is clearly seen that having mistreated the elderly may leave uncounted consequences. One of them can be the sense of loneliness which is created among the bad atmosphere created by disrespectfulness. By showing
misbehavior
Change the spelling
misbehaviour
show examples
and carelessness, the older generation may feel they are abandoned in their own house which has some negative impact on their mental health state like depression.
Moreover
, Some of the elderly are being separated
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
a different house just because of the disrespect of their children which
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
in the rise of criminal activity
due to
the fact that most of them are vulnerable. In conclusion, I strongly believe that
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
should be treated with care and good
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
to show our respect toward them.
Phus
Correct your spelling
Thus
, under any circumstances, the young generation should not show
misbehavior
Change the spelling
misbehaviour
show examples
for the benefit of the community.
Submitted by lathiquyenlc1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay marginally addresses all parts of the task. However, you should fully develop your ideas, clearly expressing causes and consequences of the lack of respect for the elderly in society and provide a more in-depth examination of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The logical sequencing is present, yet transitions between ideas can be improved. Make use of a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas more smoothly. Paragraphs could be more balanced in terms of idea development and content distribution.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social structures
  • nuclear families
  • extended family
  • intergenerational respect
  • dual-income households
  • technological advancements
  • perception
  • value shifts
  • vigor
  • innovation
  • increased mobility
  • neglected
  • mental health
  • generational divide
  • misunderstandings
  • stereotypes
  • social fabric
  • healthcare strain
  • inadequate care
  • quality of life
What to do next:
Look at other essays: