In many countries today insufficient respect is shown to older people. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What problems might this cause in society?
Recently decade has witnessed an amount of inappropriate behavior toward the elderly which widely occurred in various nations throughout the world. In my perspective, a variety of factors can play an essential role in the decrease of calmness.
Apparently, there are some
of
Change preposition
apply
the
circumstances responsible for the decline of Correct article usage
apply
respectness
Correct your spelling
respect
to
older people in the present time. Change preposition
for
Firstly
, By having such
a
high pressure at the workplace, it is understandable that some might suffer from fatigue and tiredness which leads to some dramatic Correct article usage
apply
change
in the Fix the agreement mistake
changes
behavior
of the youth. Plus, in order to keep up with the changing pace of the world, a large number of postgraduate people have to work in an exhausting and bad scheduleChange the spelling
behaviour
reluctantly
. Rephrase
apply
In addition
, the care for the upper generation may decrease due to
those factors.
Regarding the above statement, it is clearly seen that having mistreated the elderly may leave uncounted consequences. One of them can be the sense of loneliness which is created among the bad atmosphere created by disrespectfulness. By showing misbehavior
and carelessness, the older generation may feel they are abandoned in their own house which has some negative impact on their mental health state like depression. Change the spelling
misbehaviour
Moreover
, Some of the elderly are being separated to
a different house just because of the disrespect of their children which Change preposition
into
result
in the rise of criminal activity Correct subject-verb agreement
results
due to
the fact that most of them are vulnerable.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that elderly
should be treated with care and good Correct article usage
the elderly
behavior
to show our respect toward them. Change the spelling
behaviour
Phus
, under any circumstances, the young generation should not show Correct your spelling
Thus
misbehavior
for the benefit of the community.Change the spelling
misbehaviour
Submitted by lathiquyenlc1 on
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task achievement
Your essay marginally addresses all parts of the task. However, you should fully develop your ideas, clearly expressing causes and consequences of the lack of respect for the elderly in society and provide a more in-depth examination of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The logical sequencing is present, yet transitions between ideas can be improved. Make use of a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas more smoothly. Paragraphs could be more balanced in terms of idea development and content distribution.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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