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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below shows the average band scores for students from different language groups taking the IELTS General Test in 2010.

The table below shows the average band scores for students from different language groups taking the IELTS General Test in 2010.
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The table illustrates the overage IELTS exam for students who took band scores from exams in four
countries
Use synonyms
 in 2010.
Overall
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,
It is clear that
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 participants in the IELTS exam from European
countries
Use synonyms
 have taken better all-around sections than Asian
countries
Use synonyms
.
Instead
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 of
German
Use synonyms
 each country
such
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 as:French,Indonesian,and Malay had taken the wrong results than
German
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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, all of the
German
Use synonyms
 IELTS takers had
taken
Verb problem
achieved
show examples
 high results in the speaking section. Comparing the two European
countries
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as,
German
Use synonyms
 students had better results in reading and speaking section band scores an average of 6.8 and 6.9 in both sections.Reading and writing sections were less worst result on average 6.3 and 6.6 respectively.During the situation, French had taken lower score on each section than
German
Use synonyms
, the reading part was 6.1 and listening was 6.3.
In addition
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,Asian
countries
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 had taken different scores.Interestingly Their speaking score was 6.6.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition, such".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, german with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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