In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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In many countries, the
population
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of the countryside has been decreasing because rural residents leave for cities. I believe
this
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is a negative development because it affects
businesses
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and the
education
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of
students
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in rural areas. The reducing number for
population
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of the countryside could bring challenges to local
businesses
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because the revenue of local stores would relatively decrease.
For example
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, more and more supermarkets in
the
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apply
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rural
area
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areas
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of Malaysia are closed down because of the lack of local consumers, which causes hardship for the remaining residents to maintain their necessities.
As a result
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, the local
businesses
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could meet the challenges of the declining trend of rural residents.
Further
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,
students
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of
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in
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the rural area might
also
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face the issue of
education
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, since the fact that the poor number of
students
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might cause a poor quality of
education
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.
For instance
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, some of the rural schools in Taiwan have only a few teachers, which means those local
students
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would find it harder to receive a wide range of options than urban
students
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for fostering their interests and skills.
As a consequence
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, the declining
population
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is harmful to the
education
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of local
students
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. In conclusion, I believe the decreasing
population
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of the countryside is a negative development as it causes challenges for local
businesses
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and rural student’s
education
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. People should put effort into
this
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issue to ensure rural residents’ lives.
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coherence cohesion
The essay presents a structured response with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the main points could be emphasized more effectively through the use of cohesive devices and a logical progression of ideas.
task achievement
The response addresses the question and presents a clear opinion, but it could benefit from a deeper exploration of the issue with more varied examples and further elaboration on the implications of the population shift.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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