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Band 5

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university?

#people #universities #graduates #skills #workplace #function #university #access #sake #course #employer
One of the widely discussed issues is that some
people
 believe that universities should graduate
students
 with all the knowledge they need for the
future
 workplace,
however
, there is an alternative opinion of those who
instead
 have a notion that knowledge should be taught for its own sake.
This
 is undoubtedly that a university degree is an essential part of
people
's lives,
nevertheless
, everyone wants to contribute their labour properly to have truly meaningful
outcome
Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
show examples
 in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, not just a diploma that they can show to their
future
 boss, who will presumably choose someone with a background of experience in a real workforce, rather than a student. In my
country
Add a comma
country,
show examples
 there is a widespread belief that young
people
 should apply to university in order to have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 diploma of high education, even though many
graduaters
Correct your spelling
graduates
graduate
 will not proceed working in the field they
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 acquired knowledge.
Moreover
, the statistics bear
this
 out: around 60% of
people
 don't work in the profession they studied. The main reason for
this
 phenomenon is that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
alumni are not ready to decide what they really want to be in their
future
 life and the practice even in the imitated working environment could help them to decide whether they have chosen the profession they are really interested in.
On the other hand
, the higher education system is designed to expose
students
 to large parts of the world.
For example
, the
students
 are taught with some basis of psychology, management, sociology and others, so the whole aim of the university is to diversify the cognition and creativity of the learner. In conclusion, I think all universities should include less theory and more practice to help
students
 in their
future
 careers.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea and be linked effectively to the others with appropriate cohesive devices and transitional phrases.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a mix of both complex and simple sentences to convey your points clearly, striving for variety in your sentence structures.
Coherence and Cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present, but the thesis could be more clearly stated in the introduction, and the conclusion could better summarize the main points of the essay.
Task Achievement
Address the task fully by providing a balanced discussion that covers all parts of the prompt. Make sure to answer the question directly and develop your answer throughout the essay, reaching a clear opinion or conclusion.
Task Achievement
Expand and support your main points with clear, comprehensive explanations and relevant, specific examples. Try to delve deeper into the reasons behind your arguments and illustrate them with concrete examples or data, if possible.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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