IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #families #country #income #summarise #features #comparisons
The bar chart above displays data on family expenditure in a particular country in both 1968 and 2018.
Overall
, the highest expenses in 1968 was food,
while
 in 2018
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
leisure took the highest proportion of
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 weekly budget. In 1968, most families spent their income
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 food
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 35%
while
 the lowest rate was fuel and power
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 roughly 6%. Housing and clothing
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
 shared the same amount of percentages at 10%. The
others sector
Fix the agreement mistake
other sectors
show examples
such
 as household and
goods
, personal
goods
, and transport had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 rate at around 8%. in 2018, the budget
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 leisure had the most allocation at around 22% and
contrary
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the lowest portion
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 personal
goods
 and fuel at 4%. Housing
marked
Add a missing verb
was marked
show examples
 as the second
higher
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
 proportion with 19%
while
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 was
sligtly
Correct your spelling
slightly
 lower by
2
Correct article usage
a 2
show examples
% margin. The other needs
likes
Change the verb form
like
show examples
 household
goods
, clothing
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
, fuel and personal
goods
 were below 10%.
Submitted by ryanrush16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words goods with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • compare
  • spending patterns
  • allocated
  • weekly income
  • significant changes
  • essential items
  • food
  • housing
  • clothing
  • leisure
  • communication
  • increase
  • decrease
  • twofold rise
  • substantial increase
  • quadrupling
  • declined
  • food and drink
  • slight increase
  • prioritizing
  • necessities
  • transitioned
  • portio
  • non-essential items
What to do next:
Look at other essays: