IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is a good thing for the senior managers to have better salaries than other workers in a company or organization? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The issue of
managers
Use synonyms
 getting better wages than those who are rated lower than them has sparked a lot of debate.
While
Linking Words
 some think the success of a firm is based on
them
Correct your spelling
the
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 others think they have
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
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pyhsical
Correct your spelling
physical
 activities to do so that they can
derseve
Correct your spelling
deserve
 the money
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 earn. In
this
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essay
Add a comma
essay,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will explain why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe leaders
all
Correct word choice
and all
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 workers must be paid the same. On the one hand,
managers
Use synonyms
 are believed to be the people key to
success
Add an article
the success
show examples
 of the company. They
insure
Correct your spelling
ensure
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 day to day running of the company goes well.
For example
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,
handing
Rephrase
when handing
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 out
Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
shifts
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shift
Fix the agreement mistake
shifts
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, if the boss makes a
shift
Use synonyms
 of people with low
knoledge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 or experience, the
shift
Use synonyms
 might not go well leading to losses for the company. In
adddition
Correct your spelling
addition
, they
also
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 need to keep track of how workers are behaving,
perfoming
Correct your spelling
performing
 and cooperating during shifts.
Therefore
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, they carry huge risks on their back, keeping track of progress, surely they should be credited with an extra token.
On the other hand
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, they have very flexible working conditions.
Managers
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 tend to work a few
days
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that
Correct word choice
than
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 those on a lower level.
For Instance
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, at Inpost Lublin, out of the 6 working
days
Use synonyms
, they would be asked on
shift
Use synonyms
 3 times. On top of that, all their off and leave
days
Use synonyms
 are paid for
hence
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 those
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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on
production
Correct article usage
the production
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 side
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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get paid hourly without
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also
Rephrase
apply
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wages if they can not come to the
shift
Use synonyms
. It is better to pay
lucratively
Rephrase
apply
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a worker on a
six day
Add a hyphen
six-day
show examples
shift
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
managers
Use synonyms
holds
Change the verb form
hold
show examples
 the key to business growth but the number of
days
Use synonyms
 they work are fewer to make them deserve a better salary than others. I firmly disagree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the fact that they should earn higher.

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coherence cohesion
The essay provides a basic structure but lacks a clear and logical progression of ideas. The writer should aim to create clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea supported by specific examples. The introduction and conclusion are crucial for summarizing the arguments and stating the writer's position clearly.
task achievement
The response to the task is incomplete because it does not fully address all parts of the question. The writer needs to fully develop their argument, presenting a more balanced view with nuanced reasoning and comprehensive examples relevant to the topic. A clear thesis statement is necessary to convey the main idea effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • competitive edge
  • remuneration
  • corporate hierarchy
  • job performance
  • executive compensation
  • organizational growth
  • responsibility load
  • workplace morale
  • income disparity
  • budget constraints
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