There are many reasons that can motivate a person to stay working for the same company. Some believe that money is the main reason. Do you agree or disagree? What are some other reasons why people may stay?
There might be several reasons which can motivate
employees
to stay in the same company
. There is statement
that said money is the main reason Add an article
a statement
the statement
of
why Change preposition
apply
employees
stay. I totaly
disagree with Correct your spelling
totally
this
statement as there might be another reason which cause
an employee to retain in the same organization, it might be the development opportunities and Change the verb form
causes
work-life
balance
that the company
offered
.
Wrong verb form
offers
Employees
are not completely satisfied with just monetary rewards as majority
of them feel more satisfied if they are offered skills development opportunities. Add an article
the majority
a majority
This
is because by keep
upgrading themselves to become better, they will not feel bored or stuck in the Verb problem
apply
company
as they keep learn
new things. For Change the form of the verb
learning
instances
, many companies these days Fix the agreement mistake
instance
such
as Google who
keep offering their staff Correct pronoun usage
apply
to go
training which eventually will help them to develop new skills. Verb problem
apply
This
will make the staff feel they have increases
their own value and feel content with their employers which can reduce turnovers.
Change the verb form
increased
Work-life
balance
is also
an important factor for employees
to be loyal to their employers. As having
a Change preposition
Having
balance
between working and personal time will cause less burnout. Not only that, it can help to improve the staff's performance but also
reduce turnover rate. For example
, it was found that employees
who have unpredictable working hours such
as working overtime will feel more likely to resign. This
is because majority
of the workers these days feel that having Add an article
the majority
a majority
work-life
Correct article usage
a work-life
balance
as
important as having good pay especially, Gen Z who prefers organizations that provide Add a missing verb
is as
work-life
balance
rather than good pays
.
Fix the agreement mistake
pay
To conclude
, money is not the first reason of
why Change preposition
apply
employee
will choose to work in the same Fix the agreement mistake
employees
company
for a long period. It is the development oppotunities
and the Correct your spelling
opportunities
work-life
balance
that are main
things that people Correct article usage
the main
considered
to stay.Wrong verb form
consider
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Task Achievement
The essay lacks a clear introductory sentence that specifically addresses the topic. Try to begin with a sentence that directly responds to the question and clearly states your opinion.
Task Achievement
Make sure all of your main points are developed with relevant examples or evidence. For instance, when discussing companies like Google providing staff training, consider including specific programs or statistics to strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a logical structure by using paragraphs to organize ideas. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and supporting sentences related to that idea.
Task Achievement
Your essay would benefit from a more emphatic conclusion that restates your disagreement with the statement and concisely summarizes the alternative reasons you've presented.
Coherence & Cohesion
Using a range of linking words can help to improve the cohesiveness of your essay. While some linking words have been used, there could be a more varied use of them to show the relationship between ideas.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite