IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Team activities can teach more skills for life than those activities which are played alone. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#team #activities #skills #life
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There exists a debatable topic that whether
companies
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 should hire employees who are able to
work
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 in
group
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groups
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 or
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
innovative and independent ones. Despite others contending that creative workers can benefit their employers by providing innovation when they
work
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 alone,
this
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 essay propound the idea that hiring
people
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 having collaborative skills would enhance the productivity of the
companies
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.
Additionally
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, I am of the opinion that well-educated workers
is
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are
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 the
most
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apply
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ultimate option. It is crucial to understand that there are
lots
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lot
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 of evidence
show
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showing
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 that human works more effectively when they are in a group. To some extent, everybody has their weaknesses which prevent them from finishing tough tasks.
However
Linking Words
, other
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members
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member
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members
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 of the group will have strengths compensating for those drawbacks leading to
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a well-rounded
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well-rounded
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a well-rounded
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 team. Another point worth considering is that
people
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 are more responsible when they
working
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work
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 with
other
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others
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due to
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 the fact that they do not want to be criticized.
As a result
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,
companies
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’ productivity will be increased. Howbeit, advocates of the second view justify that innovation
take
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takes
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 precedence over discipline and productivity.
In other words
Linking Words
, innovative workers can come up with creative ideas which can help their employers to be stable in competition intensity and stay ahead
from
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of
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 other rivals. Yet these
people
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 usually have high
ego
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egos
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 and ignore others’ advice leading to making mistakes and
push
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pushing
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 the
companies
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in
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into
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 hard situations. Take Binance as a prime example, their CEO came up with brilliant ideas about crypto but hardly considered potential risks.
Hence
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, his company faced bankruptcy after working for 2 months. In
this
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 writer’s perspective,
companies
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 should have well-educated individuals
work
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 for them. To illustrate, these
people
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 not only have collaborative skills
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 possess the ability to think outside of the box when the
companies
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 face problems.
Such
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 things can be considered as the characteristics of well-rounded employee which help
the
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apply
show examples
companies
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 thrive in their domains.
For example
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, Finland promotes
team
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teamwork
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work
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 and creativity in education early on in life ; correspondingly,
this
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 nation has
well-qualified
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a well-qualified
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 workforce which contributes to the growth of the country in the
last
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 20 years.
To conclude
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,
while
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 critics regard the importance of innovation and independence as the main value of employees, proponents of the first view emphasize
team
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teamwork
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work
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 and discipline. I, on
another view
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the other hand
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, propound the idea of hiring individuals who have collaborative skills and the ability to think creatively.
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Task Response
To improve task achievement, ensure that your essay directly addresses the specific topic and question throughout, maintaining a clear position without deviation. Fully develop your ideas with thorough explanations and more relevant examples directly linked to the question. Consider the nuances of the topic and demonstrate a balanced view where necessary.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, utilize a variety of linking phrases and discourse markers to better connect ideas and paragraphs. Strive for clear topic sentences that introduce the focus of each paragraph. Also, make certain that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next, improving overall clarity and logical sequencing of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • collaboration
  • problem-solving
  • decision-making
  • leadership
  • interpersonal skills
  • teamwork
  • belonging
  • learning from others
  • responsibility
  • accountability
  • self-discipline
  • self-motivation
  • personal reflection
  • introspection
  • independence
  • self-reliance
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