Discussion Some people get into debt buying things they don’t need and can’t ‎afford.What are the reasons for this behaviour?What action can be taken ‎to prevent people having this problem?‎

Wonder syndrome from
costumers
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customers
show examples
during shopping time is
the
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an
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interesting topic that some
oponets
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opponents
want to explore of the reasons what happened for people to have
a specific
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a specific product
specific products
show examples
products
,
however
, shopping
behaviour
is a complex system that
designated
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is designated
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through
advertisment
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advertisement
and
ability
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the ability
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of
costumers
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customers
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recognition for quality and price in speedy for choosing
products
which are not classified into a group of goods that are not essential for
routine
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a routine
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life ,
moreever
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moreover
more ever
,
pandolous
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scandalous
pendulous
behaviour
is the origin ability of human for assessing and calculating ,
however
, I am going to clarify the possible reasons . One first reason is the imbalance of quality and price that have not been well distributed based on
societies
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society's
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needs and income,
however
, false information
on
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in
show examples
advertisment
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advertisements
are
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is
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always the cause of coming
costumers
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customers
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who are not fittable
behaviour
for shopping .
Secondly
,
shopping
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the shopping
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environment might be
crowdy
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a crowdy
the crowdy
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place or unsupportive for recognizing goods and create
a foggy thoughts
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foggy thoughts
a foggy thought
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in
peopl's
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people's
mind
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minds
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, in my
experiences
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experience
show examples
,
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the aarangement
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aarangement
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arrangement
of
shopping
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a shopping
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store are
too
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a too
the too
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distinctive factor for having a good experience for choosing
a
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products
a product
show examples
products
in time. Third , in my personal experience ,when I am hungry or
thirsy
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thirsty
,
i
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I
show examples
have not a direct decision to buy a specific
prouduct
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product
.
Last
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The last
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thing , might be the
behaviour
of
seller
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the seller
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is
hidden
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a hidden
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factor that influences
on
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apply
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your decision. When doubt
arising
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arises
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,
tthe
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the
better solution is to leave
products
and stay
in
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apply
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calm for a
while
and
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apply
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after you can be able to
hav
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have
a snapshot for
evaluating
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evaluation
show examples
and come back if you want.
Submitted by h.ebrahimi66 on

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introduction conclusion present
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential for structuring your argument and summarizing your points. An effective introduction should present the topic and state your position, while the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your stance.
logical structure
The organization of ideas and paragraphs is crucial for coherence and cohesion. Your essay should have a logical flow, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea. Use clear topic sentences and cohesive devices to link ideas between and within paragraphs.
supported main points
Each main point should be developed with supporting details and examples. Your essay touches on several reasons for the behavior but fails to fully elaborate on them. It's important to expand on your ideas with specific examples or explanations to clarify and support your points.
complete response
The task requires a discussion on why people get into debt and the preventative actions that can be taken. Your essay should provide a comprehensive answer to both parts of the question. It currently falls short of this, particularly in elaborating on potential solutions to the problem.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure that your ideas are expressed clearly and comprehensively. Use well-structured sentences and precise vocabulary. Avoid overly complex or confusing language that may detract from the clarity of your argument.
relevant specific examples
Your essay should include relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. Examples help illustrate your points and make your essay more convincing. Make sure the examples are directly connected to the topic in question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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