Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
In the contemporary world
non
spreading diseases become a Rephrase
apply
catastrophy
. Correct your spelling
catastrophe
Majority
of produced food and beverages contain a considerable amount of Correct article usage
The majority
sugar
which are directed to various heath
problem. Increasing the price of Correct your spelling
health
sugar
contain
Wrong verb form
contained
products
reduce
the Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
consuption
of Correct your spelling
consumption
sugar
items. I totally agreed
with the given statement. Wrong verb form
agree
This
essay would
discuss what are the reasons to accept the statement Wrong verb form
will
while
providing evidence.
On the one hand, diabetes is a major threat for
current society. Change preposition
to
Therefore
, reduce
the number of patients who are suffering from the said disease, it is essential to decrease the Fix the infinitive
to reduce
sugar
consuption
. Correct your spelling
consumption
For instance
, due to
busy
Correct article usage
the busy
life style
, people Correct your spelling
lifestyle
persuade
to consume fast food which contains high Wrong verb form
are persuaded
level
of Fix the agreement mistake
levels
sugar
. To increase the price of the
particular item, Correct article usage
a
in
some countries Change preposition
apply
has
imposed a substantial amount of tax. Correct subject-verb agreement
have
Accordingly
, consumers in
sugary Change preposition
of
products
have been
decreased drastically. Unnecessary verb
apply
Further
, making Add a hyphen
high-priced
high priced
Add a hyphen
high-priced
sugar
products
directly leads to reduce
the Replace the word
a reduction
sale
which Fix the agreement mistake
sales
Wrong verb form
provides
providing
Wrong verb form
provides
benifits
to the community.
Correct your spelling
benefits
On the other hand
, sweet food and beverages create unhealthy
society. Correct article usage
an unhealthy
For example
, obesity and diabetis
are Correct your spelling
diabetes
number
one threats. Correct article usage
the number
Hence
, people have to spend a considerable amount for
their medicine to keep their good health. If it is possible to decrease Change preposition
on
consupition
of the said. Sugary items, if be a reason to reduce their unnecessary expenses Correct your spelling
consumption
while
improve
the income which can be invested for Change the verb form
improving
other purpose
. Owing to that scenario, there are direct and indirect Change the wording
another purpose
other purposes
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
can
be seen Correct pronoun usage
that can
reduction
of Add an article
a reduction
the reduction
sugar
consuption
.
Correct your spelling
consumption
To conclude
, raising the price level of sugar contain
Correct your spelling
sugar-containing
products
, make
several advantages to Verb problem
gives
the
society. Correct article usage
apply
Main
Correct article usage
The main
benifits
is Correct your spelling
benefits
benefit
prevention
of health Add an article
the prevention
probles
as Correct your spelling
problems
mentioned-above
. I believe that expensive sweet Correct your spelling
mentioned above
products
spontaneously generate less custome
base around Correct your spelling
customer
manufactures
. Correct your spelling
manufacturers
Moreover
, it helps to make a cured world.Submitted by shanikamaduri on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a logical flow in the structure of the essay, with clear progression between ideas. Use a range of linking words effectively to connect ideas across sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Include both an introduction and conclusion. Each should be clearly marked, with the introduction setting out the essay's topic and the conclusion summarizing the main points and restating the writer's viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points thoroughly with explanations or examples. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by detailed information or illustrations.
task achievement
Ensure a full response to all parts of the task, presenting a clear opinion and discussing relevant ideas thoroughly. Avoid repetition and make sure each sentence contributes to the purpose of the paragraph.
task achievement
Ideas should be clearly presented and explained in depth, with comprehensive development throughout the essay. Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to articulate ideas clearly.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your arguments. Make sure the examples given are directly related to the points being made and contribute to the overall argument or explanation.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!