IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

There are many reasons that can motivate a person to stay working for the same company. Some believe that money is the main reason. Do you agree or disagree? What are some other reasons why people may stay?

In our multicultural world, residents are turning out to be
morre
Correct your spelling
more
 inquisitive about the former times of their domiciles to a greater extent. The root issues of the mentioned craze and
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
 of methods for individuals to appropriate
this
Linking Words
 information will be hashed out in
this
Linking Words
 essay. Residents’ motivation to reach a decision in ascertaining
further
Linking Words
 about the historical background of their accommodation
emerge
Correct subject-verb agreement
emerges
show examples
 from
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 curiosity
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. It satisfied a desire
in intriguing
Change preposition
to intrigue
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 about the dwelling’s ex-host or basically its past.
Moreover
Linking Words
, comprehending its bygone era
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
show examples
sense
Add an article
the sense
a sense
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 of belonging,
understanding
Correct word choice
and understanding
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 and the connection is linked as well. As if
that is
Linking Words
 not enough, carrying out
investigation
Correct article usage
an investigation
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in
Change preposition
into
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 the obsoleteness of the residence
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not only
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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 the property values but
also
Linking Words
to acknowledge
Change the verb form
acknowledges
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its conditions. Having a handle on the prior learning thoroughly
also
Linking Words
grow
Correct subject-verb agreement
grows
show examples
 a capacity to perceive its
actually
Change the word
actual
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 financial worth.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, individuals tend to be apprehensive about the house’s status
that is
Linking Words
 initiated from preceding events.
Such
Linking Words
 fettles
are including
Wrong verb form
include
show examples
 criminals, accidents, social vices or if it is being haunted. So as to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 the inquisitiveness aroused, it is able to apply many typical methods.
Such
Linking Words
 approaches are inquiring the long-time residents who may archive stories and anecdotes about the property.
Thus
Linking Words
, in case the house or flat
are have
Wrong verb form
has
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 not been bought yet, the optimal
methods
Fix the agreement mistake
method
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 doing some
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 from the local corporation or the real estate agent. Exploration from the internet is an ideal way as well. In conclusion, curiosity and the desire to connect with the past are the main possible reasons why people spend time delving into the former era of their homes. To discover
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
, they possess the capacity to claim knowledge from the neighbourhoods and the government apartment.

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task achievement
The essay contains some irrelevant details and deviates from the central topic of why people stay working for the same company, focusing instead on why residents are curious about the history of their homes. This shows a significant misunderstanding of the question topic and results in a low score for task achievement. An IELTS essay should directly address all parts of the question prompt.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks clear logical structure and the progression of ideas is somewhat difficult to follow. You should structure your essay in a way that clearly introduces the topic, develops and supports each main point in its own paragraph, and concludes the discussion effectively. Using paragraphs properly and ensuring a logical flow will increase coherence and cohesion, which is essential in IELTS essays.
coherence cohesion
Main points should be supported with specific and relevant examples or explanations. The examples given in your essay are vague and do not contribute significantly to the points being made. To enhance this, ensure every main point is demonstrated with a clear, specific, and relevant example or a detailed explanation.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fulfillment
  • employee retention
  • professional development
  • telecommuting
  • competitive salary
  • health benefits
  • retirement plans
  • supportive management
  • workplace satisfaction
  • loyalty
  • job security
  • employee turnover
  • personal values
  • career ladder
  • workplace dynamics
  • loyal to an employer
What to do next:
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