IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart illustrates the various
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who
attend
Wrong verb form
attended
show examples
 the evening course at an adult education centre in the year 2009 and
also
Linking Words
 the pie chart tells about the ages of
people
Use synonyms
 who attended these
programme
Fix the agreement mistake
programmes
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
 the
chart
Add a comma
chart,
show examples
 the
people
Use synonyms
 who attend the language program
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 the highest among the other
programmes
Replace the word
programs
show examples
 like Drama, Painting , Sculpture and Language. The
Use synonyms
women
Correct quantifier usage
number of women
show examples
 who participated in
Sculpture
Correct article usage
the Sculpture
show examples
 course is below 10 is less when compared to the
men
Use synonyms
 .In painting,the number of
men
Use synonyms
attend
Wrong verb form
attending
show examples
25 is equal to
women
Use synonyms
 30 as-well-as in
language
Correct article usage
the language
show examples
 class 40
women
Use synonyms
 and 20
men
Use synonyms
 have
came
Change the verb form
come
show examples
 to class .
women
Use synonyms
loves
Correct subject-verb agreement
love
show examples
 attending drama class
that is
Linking Words
 of nearly 20
women
Use synonyms
 and 10
men
Use synonyms
 have attended the evening drama course
Overall
Linking Words
 the
age
Use synonyms
 between 50
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 above
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 have
attend
Change the verb form
attended
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
evening courses in the year 2009 ,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 the
age
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 between 30 to 39 is less when
comparing
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to the
people
Use synonyms
 of
age
Use synonyms
 between 40 to 49. the least amount was under the
age
Use synonyms
 of 20 at the
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of 5 in the year 2009

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, women, men, age with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • attendance
  • adult education centre
  • participants
  • demographics
  • evening courses
  • language course
  • art course
  • participation rates
  • gender distribution
  • age group
  • main features
  • comparisons
  • summarise
  • highlight
  • analyze
  • popularity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: