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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below illustrates the amount of time spent on various leisure activities by men and women in a given town in 2019.

The bar chart below illustrates the amount of time spent on various leisure activities by men and women in a given town in 2019.
#bar #amount #time #leisure #activities #men #women #town
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The chart displays the difference between male and female's amount of free
time
Use synonyms
 during the different life stages. These bars
also
Linking Words
shows
Change the verb form
show
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 the comparison
beetween
Correct your spelling
between
 the diverse employments that both
sex's
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sexes
sex
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, those who are employed,
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 or
part
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part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
,
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a much higher free
time
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. Though
,
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apply
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 there are no male statistics on those who are being employed
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 or who stay at home, we can see that there is a big jump between those with traditional jobs and those without. Females that are working
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
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 and
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 tend to have
lower
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a lower
show examples
 leisure
time
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 with approximately 40 to 50
hours
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 a week.
Whereas
Linking Words
 women who are unemployed or retired
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a higher amount of leisure
time
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 with a leap of around 80
hours
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 per week.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the male chart
demonstates
Correct your spelling
demonstrates
 a significant leap from men who
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
 full
time
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, with around 40 to 50
hours
Use synonyms
 to men who are employed or retired within a range of 80
hours
Use synonyms
 per week.
Submitted by jovinkacarens28 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "leap" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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