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Band 5

Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people's salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #proportion #salaries #services #roads #schools #taxes
There is a consideration that high
taxes
 contribute to the
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 needs in different areas.
However
, there are people who claim that high
taxes
 do not provide any benefits to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. In the following paragraphs, I will attempt to consider both points of view and share my position on
necessity
Add an article
the necessity
show examples
 of high
taxes
. On the one hand, the
government
 use tallage
in making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
citizens
Change noun form
citizens'
citizen's
show examples
life
 more comfortable.
Furthermore
,
taxes
 are used on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public needs
such
 as transport and
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free medicine.
For instance
, many
taxes
 In Switzerland go into schools and kindergartens giving
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 conditions to our future
generation
 like safe
playground
Fix the agreement mistake
playgrounds
show examples
, qualified teachers, and healthy food.
As well as
 making
life
 more relaxing and chillier
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the elder
generation
. As a case in point,
elder
Correct article usage
the elder
show examples
generation
receive
Change the verb form
receives
show examples
monthly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
a percent
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their wage during
life
.
Thus
, the
government
 takes care
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all the
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
 who are living in the
country
. On the
over
Correct word choice
other
show examples
 hand,
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
excessively high
taxes
 can lead to the anxiety in
country
. If the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of
taxes
 is extremely high, the people`s salary won’t be enough for living.
For example
, in
Republic
Correct article usage
the Republic
show examples
 of
Moldova
Add a comma
Moldova,
show examples
 the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of
taxes
 is 25,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is
considerate
Replace the word
considered
show examples
 one of the highest in Europe.
Comparing
Wrong verb form
Compared
show examples
 with other civilized countries with high
life
 quality Republic of Moldova is in the
last
 position. It is caused because the
government
 is unable to maintain
balance
Add an article
a balance
the balance
show examples
 between expenses.
However
, there is a point of view that income from
taxes
 can go into other people´s pockets. Making
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 impoverished. Taking everything into account, the opinion that high
taxes
 have more pros than cons depends on how
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 can spend them to the people´s requirements or to themselves. Comparing
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 two
Europeans
Replace the word
European
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Switzerland where
taxes
 have more benefits and
Republic
Correct article usage
the Republic
show examples
 of Moldova where
taxes
 lead the poverty of the
country
.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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Task Response
Ensure introduction and conclusion are clearly defined and address the prompt directly. Present a balanced view before stating your own opinion in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize ideas and examples more logically, ensuring each paragraph flows into the next. Use a variety of linking words to show the relationship between ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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