The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart shows the average Australian
water
consumption in selected cities for
last
year
,
while
the pie chart shows how
water
was used in Australia for
last
year
. It can clearly be seen that
water
supply affected most of the key parts of Australian life and industry, but the most severely affected sector in a shortage would be agriculture. The highest
water
consumer was the city of Perth with 300
kilolitres
per property as an annual average. It was followed by Brisbane and Adelaide, where properties used 250 and about 240
kilolitres
a
year
on average. In
Sydney
Add a comma
Sydney,
show examples
households consumed 200
kilolitres
of
water
annually, and the smallest yearly average consumption was recorded in Melbourne and Canberra, about 150 and 140
kilolitres
per property respectively. Among industries, the largest
water
user in Australia
last
year
was agriculture, which took up over
two thirds
Add a hyphen
two-thirds
show examples
of usage at 67%. The next largest usage was by households (9%),
water
supply, sewage and drainage (7%) and
water
used for electricity and gas supply (7%). The rest was used by manufacturing (4%), other industries (4%) and mining (2%).
Submitted by ashissarker18 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 91%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, year, kilolitres with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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