In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There are split opinions regarding whether the age-
care
service
should be paid by
the Change preposition
for by
government
or the family in Britain. Some people
believe that the government
might be helped older for the rest of life in the age-care
facility whereas
others believe that it is a family responsibility to take care
of their grandparents. However
, both have their own positive side and will provide the answer with instance
and Fix the agreement mistake
instances
perspective
view too in the following paragraphs.
The foremost point is that the Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
government
must responsible
for the Add a missing verb
be responsible
citizen
of Britain Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
whose
need Correct pronoun usage
who
health
care
. Although
, it serve
better than family members and infects it provides Change the verb form
serves
fulltime
roster nurses who Correct your spelling
full-time
able
to access Add a missing verb
are able
service
24 hours in the time of emergency. Because of this
aged-person
could not feel Correct your spelling
people
like
home but they Change preposition
at
support
and Wrong verb form
supported
aware
others to Add a missing verb
were aware
the
politics. Correct article usage
apply
In addition
, the government
authority is secured so the aged people
does
not need to worry about Change the verb form
do
the
safety precaution and all. Correct article usage
apply
Thus
, the authority reforms the benefits of health
tratements
.
Correct your spelling
treatments
On the contrary
, the second view suggests why government
need to pay the bill for the aged-Correct article usage
the government
care
service
though it is a family issue. In addition
, it is a family
responsibility to take Change noun form
family's
care
of their grandparents so that humans create a
value and respect Correct article usage
apply
to
the culture in the way of traditional Change preposition
for
customes
. For Correct your spelling
customs
customers
insatnce
, in India, all Correct your spelling
instance
health
issue is cured by mother
who specially Correct article usage
a mother
take
Change the verb form
takes
care
of her son and grandparents in the
rural area so that Correct article usage
apply
people
can invest their wealth to
Change preposition
in
the
agricultural property . Correct article usage
apply
Hence
, the given point conceived that retired
gender is more Correct article usage
the retired
wellness
by the family member.
Replace the word
well
To conclude
and give my opinion it
would say that the age-Correct pronoun usage
I
care
facility service
is the best service
for retired people
if the government
pay the bills or the family. But, it can be best that both can split the bills such
as the government
can provide some health
policies to retire agents or the army.Submitted by patelhardik2199 on
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task achievement
Your essay somewhat addresses the question, but the response is not fully developed and lacks a clear position throughout the essay. A clear stance should be consistently maintained and elaborated upon. Providing concrete examples rather than hypothetical scenarios would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
You need to improve the organization and clarity of your essay. Establish a clear logical sequence for your ideas, and make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main point. Use cohesive devices to better link your ideas together, and ensure that your introduction and conclusion are more explicitly stated and connected to your overall argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example