It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Generally
Add a comma
Generally,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
believe that a person with certain skills like sports or any form of
musics
Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
considered inborn
talents
Fix the agreement mistake
talent
show examples
. But there are other
group
Change the wording
groups
show examples
who refute
such
Linking Words
claims, rather they are towards one’s own
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
and interest to become
such
Linking Words
a skilled person. I do support
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
statement
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
every
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
show examples
can be trained
Change preposition
in
show examples
what they
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
to become. We say talent by birth, some with exceptional cases, we see
people
Use synonyms
who can perform activities without much effort being put in. They can learn or catch up easily like playing games on
cetiain
Correct your spelling
certain
musics
Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, there is no evidence
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
that can be possible.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Add a comma
society,
show examples
we see
people
Use synonyms
who ave really good at playing archery see
people
Use synonyms
who ave really good at playing archery at
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
age. Even though
there
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
recent participation
Replace the word
recently participated
show examples
in the activity they
perform
Wrong verb form
performed
show examples
pretty
good
Change the word
well
show examples
, looking at
this
Linking Words
kind of
abilities
Fix the agreement mistake
ability
show examples
they believe it’s an inborn talent of an individual.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
group who are going against
such
Linking Words
claims. They think
provided
Correct word choice
that provided
show examples
suitable
Add an article
a suitable
show examples
environment with good health, diet and special training can somehow become excellent performers.
For instance
Linking Words
, great footballers and
cricators
Correct your spelling
curators
won’t become famous in the world simply without any physical training and special coaching. They are routinely trained, given
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
diet and provided International standard
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
to
perforem
Correct your spelling
perform
extraordinarily. In my own view, I believe
inate
Correct your spelling
innate
ability simply won’t become
a
Change the article
the
show examples
best performer
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the locality, national or
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international level. It's quite arguable that even without
innale
Correct your spelling
innate
ability, provided
suitable
Correct article usage
a suitable
show examples
evironment
Correct your spelling
environment
can become
renowned
Add an article
a renowned
show examples
performer.
To conclude
Linking Words
my essay, I would say that
innale
Correct your spelling
innate
ability without supportive
sourrounding
Correct your spelling
surrounding
surroundings
cannot emerge out of the cage. But with all the
tealaing
Correct your spelling
talking
healing
stealing
and supportive
people
Use synonyms
around can.
Submitted by rinchennima77 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
You should ensure that the structure of your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Currently, your essay lacks clear delineation between the introduction and body paragraphs, and the conclusion is present but underdeveloped.
coherence cohesion
Your main points need to be consistently developed and supported with clear examples. Present examples that are directly related to the claims you make and ensure they reinforce your argument effectively.
task achievement
Make sure to directly address all parts of the task. Your response should comprehensively explore both views presented in the prompt and your own opinion. Provide a more detailed analysis of each viewpoint to enhance completeness.
task achievement
Strive for clarity and the development of comprehensive ideas. Work on clearly expressing your points and expanding on ideas to fully convey your understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Use a range of relevant, specific examples to support your points. Incorporate examples that are detailed and pertinent to the argument you are making to illustrate the discussion more effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innate talent
  • Nurture
  • Prodigy
  • Proficiency
  • Deliberate practice
  • Physiological factors
  • Grit
  • Perseverance
  • Cultural norms
  • Structured training
  • Physical predisposition
  • Natural aptitude
  • Dedicated training
  • Societal influence
  • Passion
  • Genetic endowment
  • Skill acquisition
  • Expertise
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Mastery
  • Cognitive abilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: