It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Generally
Add a comma
Generally,
people
believe that a person with certain skills like sports or any form of musics
Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
are
considered inborn Change the verb form
is
talents
. But there are other Fix the agreement mistake
talent
group
who refute Change the wording
groups
such
claims, rather they are towards one’s own hardwork
and interest to become Correct your spelling
hard work
such
a skilled person. I do support second
statement Change the article
the second
where
every Correct word choice
that
individuals
can be trainedChange to a singular noun
individual
Change preposition
in
wanted
to become.
We say talent by birth, some with exceptional cases, we see Wrong verb form
want
people
who can perform activities without much effort being put in. They can learn or catch up easily like playing games on cetiain
Correct your spelling
certain
musics
. Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
However
, there is no evidence how
that can be possible. Change preposition
of how
For instance
, in the
Correct article usage
apply
society
we see Add a comma
society,
people
who ave really good at playing archery see people
who ave really good at playing archery at certain
age. Even though Add an article
a certain
there
Correct your spelling
they
recent participation
in the activity they Replace the word
recently participated
perform
pretty Wrong verb form
performed
good
, looking at Change the word
well
this
kind of abilities
they believe it’s an inborn talent of an individual.
Fix the agreement mistake
ability
On the other hand
, there is other
group who are going against Change the wording
another
such
claims. They think provided
Correct word choice
that provided
suitable
environment with good health, diet and special training can somehow become excellent performers. Add an article
a suitable
For instance
, great footballers and cricators
won’t become famous in the world simply without any physical training and special coaching. They are routinely trained, given Correct your spelling
curators
good
diet and provided International standardAdd an article
a good
trainings
to Change the wording
training
pieces of training
perforem
extraordinarily. In my own view, I believe Correct your spelling
perform
inate
ability simply won’t become Correct your spelling
innate
a
best performer Change the article
the
in
the locality, national or Change preposition
at
an
international level. It's quite arguable that even without Correct article usage
apply
innale
ability, provided Correct your spelling
innate
suitable
Correct article usage
a suitable
evironment
can become Correct your spelling
environment
renowned
performer.
Add an article
a renowned
To conclude
my essay, I would say that innale
ability without supportive Correct your spelling
innate
sourrounding
cannot emerge out of the cage. But with all the Correct your spelling
surrounding
surroundings
tealaing
and supportive Correct your spelling
talking
healing
stealing
people
around can.Submitted by rinchennima77 on
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coherence cohesion
You should ensure that the structure of your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Currently, your essay lacks clear delineation between the introduction and body paragraphs, and the conclusion is present but underdeveloped.
coherence cohesion
Your main points need to be consistently developed and supported with clear examples. Present examples that are directly related to the claims you make and ensure they reinforce your argument effectively.
task achievement
Make sure to directly address all parts of the task. Your response should comprehensively explore both views presented in the prompt and your own opinion. Provide a more detailed analysis of each viewpoint to enhance completeness.
task achievement
Strive for clarity and the development of comprehensive ideas. Work on clearly expressing your points and expanding on ideas to fully convey your understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Use a range of relevant, specific examples to support your points. Incorporate examples that are detailed and pertinent to the argument you are making to illustrate the discussion more effectively.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite