IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
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Recent
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In recent
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 times, the majority of company managers aware of the importance of
the
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apply
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publicity
on
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in
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 the business environment and tend to deliver
the
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apply
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novel
products
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 to the customers in their adverts. Marketers can grab the attention of consumers with
this
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 marketing strategy because they know that
people
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 are willing to buy and try new things in their daily
life
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lives
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,
however
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,
this
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 leads to
minus
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a minus
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 effect in terms of wasting money on unnecessary
stuffs
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stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
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.
To begin
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 with, advertisements are
easy
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an easy
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 way to promote the outputs and surge the sales of
of
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apply
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a particular entity. To clarify, the competition increases day by day for supplying
people
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 with new
products
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, which will definitely attract them, and they achieve
this
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 through
a
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the
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 right advert.To give an instance, a famous hair care brand "Elidor"
lauch
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launches
new
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a new
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 product every year , which is for
the
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a
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 different
kind
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kinds
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 of hair. So, many women always remember
this
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 brand and encounter many types of its
products
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 in markets.
On the other hand
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,
while
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 human beings see the promotion of unfamiliar things, their desire to get
it
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them
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 soars, and
due to
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this
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psychologal
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psychological
 effect, many purchase
unappropriate
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inappropriate
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 items. A number of
people
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 want to try new things in order to run away
their
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from their
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 routine
life
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lives
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 and
squender
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spend
 money on new phones,
cars
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and cars
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.
For instance
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,
people
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 all over the world spend approximately 5 billion dollars every year to buy newly introduced Apple phones.
Moreover
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, Apple
represent
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represents
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 novel smartphones, that have many prevalences
in contrast
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 to the older versions and
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the
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company uses its marketing style efficiently
for attracting
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to attract
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people
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.
To sum up
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, all companies use
the
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apply
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promotion
for increasing
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to increase
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their revenue
on
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from
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 new
products
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 in modern life
awaring
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awarding
 of some group of
people
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, who will demand
such
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 kind of output.
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However
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However,
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 it has
negative
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a negative
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 influence on
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people
Change noun form
people's
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budget
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budgets
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.
Submitted by babayeva.ilayda on

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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the task with a simple and partial response. To improve, ensure that your answer fully addresses all parts of the question and develop your argument more thoroughly with a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
While there is an attempt to organize ideas, the logical flow is sometimes disrupted due to abrupt transitions and lack of clear connections between sentences. For better coherence, use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively, ensuring paragraphs flow logically from one to the next.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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