Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social life.
Nowadays, the development of technology has given birth to many modern forms of
communication
, which decreases in
our real-time social interactions and has Change preposition
apply
a
sparked debates on its impact on our social Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
life
. Some people
believe that it has negative
impact on interpersonal Add an article
a negative
relationships
, I
partly agree with Correct word choice
and I
this
opinion.
First and foremost, it is undeniable that the impact of technology on our social life
is indeed a multifacted
Correct your spelling
multifaceted
issues
. The convenience of instant connections enables the sharing connection of information and experiences across long distances. Change the noun form
issue
Also
, it fosters connections without the need for physical presence. For example
, we can start a conversation with our family or friends just by a click on our phone. This
not only saves time travelling but also
avoids the unpredicted situations happen
around the meeting place.
Wrong verb form
happening
On the other hand
, modern forms of communication
somtimes
Correct your spelling
sometimes
reduces
our face-to-face interactions Change the verb form
reduce
due to
its
convenience of sending Change the word
the
quick
message. Add an article
a quick
People
seem to prefer engaging in online conversation and interaction rather than meeting in real life
. Thus
, it may deter people
from involving
in depth of interpersonal Wrong verb form
being involved
relationships
because they can not see each others' posture, emotion
through messaging text and even misunderstanding others' Correct word choice
and emotion
opinion
. Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
For example
, youngsters nowadays usually interact through dating apps and they easily leave Correct article usage
the comversation
comversation
if they feel it's bored, Correct your spelling
conversation
conversations
although
the
others are still very excited to talk with them . Correct article usage
apply
This
phenomenon brings uncomfortable and vulnerable feeling
to Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
people
's relationship
, they may be more afraid of meeting in real Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
life
. Hence
, modern means of communication
must be blamed for unhealthy relationships
.
In a nutshell, while
modern communication
technology may transform our social interaction in a very convenient way, foster
global connections and efficient Correct word choice
and foster
communication
, it may leads
to Change the verb form
lead
reduction
of time Correct article usage
a reduction
people
meet directly and loose
interpersonal Correct your spelling
lose
relationships
. Striking a balance between virtual and physical interactions remains crucial for maintaining the richness of human relationships
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coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from more varied and complex sentence structures to convey ideas with greater clarity and impact. This can be achieved by employing a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences.
coherence cohesion
Careful proofreading to correct grammatical errors, as well as refining word choice and syntax, would significantly enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
task achievement
To better develop task response, increase the depth of analysis for each point, rather than just stating the point. This will also help to flesh out the essay and display a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
While some relevant examples are given, they should be further elaborated on to strengthen the argument. Specific details and illustrations can make the argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Linking words and phrases should be used accurately and appropriately to demonstrate clear progression of ideas and to enhance the logical flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The range of vocabulary used is good, but precision in language and formal academic tone should be maintained consistently throughout the essay.
task achievement
Ensure that the conclusion summarizes the main points effectively and reflects back on the introduction, creating a cohesive and thorough response to the task.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?