Art is considered as an important part of society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important to teach art to children? Do you think adolescent should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects?

With the implementation of feedback received from professors and determination, I was able to make consistent progress through the remaining phase of the academic journey. My grades, which had hovered around 70% during the COVID-19 pandemic, soared to an impressive 90% in my final semester.
This
experience taught me the power of resilience and the importance of perseverance under proper guidance. It
also
instilled in me a deep-rooted belief in my ability to overcome obstacles and achieve my goals.
Submitted by swikritishrestha90 on

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task achievement
The essay does not address the prompt about the importance of teaching art to children or whether adolescents should focus on art. You must respond directly to the questions posed in the task.
coherence cohesion
Your paragraph does not follow a clear progression of ideas related to discussing the role of art in education. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details that pertain to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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