Research has shown that spending much less time in office can reduce the use Of use of energy (for example electricity, gas). Thus some companies Cole for some days a week. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantage?

#research #time #office #energy #electricity #gas #companies #cole #week #development

In the contemporary era, it is quite common that spending a long time in the

office

can significantly decrease the potential of

employees

. So companies should turn off for some

days

a week. In my

Fix the agreement mistake

opinion

show examples

opinions

Add a comma

opinions,

show examples

I tend to believe that, it

provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

both advantages and disadvantages.

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

there are more benefits than disadvantages. In the upcoming

paragraph

Add a comma

paragraph,

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

am going to explore them fully.

This

trend appears to be considerably more

advantages

Replace the word

advantageous

show examples

for many reasons. The most substantial favorable aspect of

this

trend is the

employees

Change to a genitive case

employee's

employees'

show examples

loss of concentration

Change preposition

show examples

their duties

due to

long

office

hours. They develop a monotonous attitude after spending

a lots

Correct the article-noun agreement

a lot

lots

show examples

of time in the

office

without a break.

As a

result

Add a comma

result,

show examples

their dedication and efficiency

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

has been fall

Wrong verb form

have fallen

show examples

down

Change preposition

apply

show examples

which directly affects company revenue. To overcome

those solution

Change the determiner

that solution

those solutions

show examples

employees

get some off

days

a week it would be possible

refresh

Fix the infinitive

to refresh

show examples

thier

Correct your spelling

their

minds from long work pressure and

feeling

Wrong verb form

feel

show examples

comfortable spending that time with

family's

Change the noun form

families

family

show examples

. After weekdays when

Change the article

show examples

employee

start

Change the verb form

starts

show examples

his new working

days

then

Rephrase

apply

show examples

have

Verb problem

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full of

enthusiasms

Fix the agreement mistake

enthusiasm

show examples

which is a good

sing

Correct your spelling

sign

show examples

for both

employees

and employers.

Apart from

this

reducing

office

hours

also

save

Correct subject-verb agreement

saves

show examples

company’s

Correct article usage

the company’s

show examples

coast

Correct your spelling

costs

show examples

such

as electricity, water, internet, and fuel bills etc.

On the contrary

, in spite of having so many

benefits

Add a comma

benefits,

show examples

there

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

might be some

drawback

Fix the agreement mistake

drawbacks

show examples

Wrong verb form

closing

show examples

for some

days

a week. Additional off

days

can lead a

reluctant

Replace the word

reluctance

show examples

among

employees

. What is more could imbalance

companies

Fix the agreement mistake

the company's

show examples

consistence performance.

For instance

, it goes

Change preposition

apply

show examples

without saying that unnecessary off

days

could hamper the

work flow

Correct your spelling

workflow

show examples

of the company.

This

is because

company

Add an article

the company

a company

show examples

may have missed or distracted

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

yearly plan,target, or profit margin. In conclusion as far as my explanation is concerned

although

there are a few drawbacks

nevertheless

the advantages clearly outweigh the disadvantages, so it is a positive development

Submitted by tanvir0507 on Wed Nov 29 2023

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Introduction & Conclusion

Your introduction provides a decent start to the topic but could be more concise and directly answer the essay question. Remember to state clearly your position whether you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or not, rather than presenting an ambiguous statement.

Logical Structure

You need to work on structuring your ideas more logically. Make sure each paragraph has one clear main idea, and the sentences within those paragraphs are related and support the main idea.

Supported Main Points

Your main points need better support. Rather than stating general opinions, use specific examples and explanations to illustrate your ideas and make your arguments more persuasive.

Complete Response

Ensure you fully respond to all parts of the task. Your essay should examine both the advantages and disadvantages equally before concluding if one outweighs the other. Your conclusion must also summarise your main points and restate your position clearly.

Clear & Comprehensive Ideas

Strive to present clear and comprehensive arguments in your essay. Avoid vague statements and generalisations. Make your ideas distinct and back them up with solid reasoning or evidence.

Relevant & Specific Examples

Include relevant and specific examples to strengthen your ideas and make your essay more convincing. These examples should directly relate to and support the points you are making in your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Research has shown that spending much less time in office can reduce the use Of use of energy (for example electricity, gas). Thus some companies Cole for some days a week. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantage?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Is some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss these points of view and give your own opinion.

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Social media has completely changed the way family and friends communicate with each other. What ore the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?