In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occured? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

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Nowadays, teenagers
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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spend
a
Correct article usage
apply
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most of their
time
with peers and less
time
with their
families
.
This
happens because of a lack of communication between
parents
and their teenage
children
.
Instead
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
forcing them to spend more
time
at home with the family,
parents
should be truly interested in their kids,
moreover
, they should try to speak more with them about their problems and concerns. Unfortunately, these days, a majority of modern
parents
limit themselves to providing for their
children
basic necessities,
such
as
a food
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food
a portion of food
show examples
and clothes, and do not pay attention to communication with them. Most adults spend an essential part of the day at work,
moreover
, frequently they have to work overtime on the weekend.
For
this
reason, it leaves them a few free hours during the day. Commonly, working people are so exhausted that their free
time
is spent on relaxing activities,
such
as watching TV or surfing the internet,
instead
of spending it with family. Because of
this
, the majority of
parents
have little interaction with their kids.
For example
, many
families
in Kazakhstan spend their free evening hours or weekends separately, mostly watching their smartphones.
Moreover
, more than half of them do not even have dinner together. Today, when our
children
are influenced by lots of negative impacts, fathers and mothers should be keenly interested in their kids` lives. Hectic lifestyles force adults to always worry about their own issues, which they have to overcome every single day.
Therefore
, they forget that their
children
have
same
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the same
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problems as well. So
then
, when teenagers don`t see support from their
parents
, they begin to seek it from other places.
For instance
,
families
where
parents
interact a lot with their
children
have closer relationships than
families
that do not.
Furthermore
,
children
that
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who
show examples
grow up in
families
where they feel supported, become more self-confident,
that
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which
show examples
helps them to overcome
the
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apply
show examples
obstacles in the future. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account, I would argue that despite the fact that adults are overloaded by their job and
have
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do have
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not enough
time
, they should
to
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apply
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focus on communication with their
children
, because it is essential in
relationship
Correct article usage
the relationship
show examples
between
parents
and
children
.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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task response
The essay addresses the topic, but the ideas are not fully developed. You should aim to expand on your points with deeper insight and analysis to fully satisfy the task response criterion.
coherence cohesion
There is an evident attempt to organize the essay; however, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. You should work on using a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively to enhance the logical flow of your essay.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • establish
  • identity
  • influence
  • social media
  • digital communication
  • commitments
  • pressure
  • academic
  • profession
  • prioritize
  • cultural shifts
  • societal shifts
  • peer relationships
  • emotional support
  • guidance
  • voluntary
  • autonomy
  • balance
  • resilient
  • overbearing
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