Some people today believe that the world's increase in population is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis. Other people believe that the world population increase is necessary and beneficial as it creates growth of the world's economy and society. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
The human desire to procreate has been an ongoing notion for centuries. People long to become parents to continue the family name or to love someone beyond themselves. It has become a debate on whether it is economically feasible for the human
population
to increase
as time progresses. Some believe that it is not feasible and will inevitably lead to financial instability. Others find that an increase
in population
comes with its benefits that will lead to the success of humanity.
Children are seen as the future for
society that will create change in a world Change preposition
of
that is
depleting. They are seen as the beacon of hope for a new, developed and technologically advanced society. Arguably, it is the youth that drive
a country's economy. It starts off when they are newborns. When a Change the verb form
drives
child
is born they require a great amount of necessities that need to be paid for. This
includes food, nappies, clothing, and much more. When mothers
obtain these necessities, not only do they pay the value added that is
included is
the price which goes to the Correct your spelling
in
government
and grants them the opportunity to better the country, but the mothers
are supporting the businesses
which enables
them to expand, stretch or grow so that they can Change the verb form
enable
increase
their the amount of workers needed which may further
decrease the unemployment rate in the county. Imagine about 64 million South Africans increasing the population
. With the newborn to 10 years spectrum alone, More money will be placed in the hands of the government
to fix health care locations, public schools and roads as well as
provide for the elderly and students who need financial aid(National Student Financial Aid Scheme). When looking at it from this
perspective, it is clear to see why the population
increase
is beneficial from an economic perspective.
With all this
information in mind, I believe that an increase
in population
can be a beneficial aspect for
the country’s social and economic development. The individual happiness that comes with having a Change preposition
of
child
is one that cannot be described by anyone. It is said that to be loved by your child
is love that cannot be compared to anything else. The social benefits by
creating a community, whether it be a nursery, mommy and me classes or any other gathering, people who have children are able to Change preposition
of
ban
together and share experiences Correct your spelling
band
in
making their journey a little easier. Change preposition
apply
This
community is one that may help with non
Add a hyphen
non-government
government
organisations such
as charities because the mothers
understand first hand
how difficult it is to raise a Correct your spelling
first-hand
child
and would want to help out as best as they can. It aids mothers
who are in desperate need of help and who don't want to partake in crime. The economic benefits that come with an increased population
is
one that can potentially change the economic stance that the county is currency in. These parents would be helping the Change the verb form
are
businesses
in
which they are buying Change preposition
from
from
but Change preposition
apply
also
indirectly helping the government
in aiding the county. Every parent wants to take care of their child
by giving them the necessary nutrients. This
can be seen through locally self made
Add a hyphen
self-made
businesses
who
do not partake in mass production and make sure that their baby products are Correct pronoun usage
that
that
best in line. As parents take part in helping these local Correct determiner usage
the
businesses
, they then
will be able to create change in the economic market and further
inspire other people to take the leap of faith and become an entrepreneur.Submitted by tshenkengm on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly presents a central topic and that the ideas within the paragraph flow in a logical and organized manner. Avoid abrupt transitions and provide linking words to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion of your essay are present, but they could be strengthened with a clearer thesis statement and a more definitive summary of your points, respectively.
coherence cohesion
While you have supported your main points with some examples, they could be further strengthened with specific, detailed evidence and explanations that are clearly relevant to the task at hand.
task achievement
Ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Introduce, develop, and conclude your ideas about both viewpoints as well as your own opinion to provide a complete and well-rounded essay.
task achievement
Your ideas are in general clear and comprehensive, but there is room for improvement in making sure that every point made is both fully developed and directly relevant to the topic at hand.
task achievement
The use of specific examples is good, but try to ensure that each example is directly tied to your argument and clearly supports the point you are making. Avoid lengthy anecdotes that dilute the impact of your examples.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
- Summary
- Restatement of thesis
- Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
- In conclusion
- To conclude
- To summarize
- Finally
- In a nutshell
- In general
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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