Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

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Although
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the advancement of technology has increased drastically,
this
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breakthough
Correct your spelling
breakthrough
affects a plethora of human lives, especially the
advertisement
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.
However
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, some say that the
ad
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stimulates
people
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to purchase unwanted
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
while
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others believe that the broadcast
delrvers
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delivers
more details about
a particular products
Correct the article-noun agreement
particular products
a particular product
show examples
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this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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may develop folk's lives. I will discuss both views and
also
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state my perspective as the conclusion. On the one hand, advertisements
provokes
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provoke
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mankind to lead
the
Correct article usage
a
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materialistic lifestyle.
People
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buy things which they really do not need but the
ad
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influences them to purchase frequently.
For example
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, many children order products
to
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for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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online shopping,
they
Correct word choice
but they
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do not think about which is useful or not because they
Add a missing verb
are manupulated
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manupulated
Correct your spelling
manipulated
by the
advertisement
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,
thus
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, money waste
as well as
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Correct article usage
a materialistuc
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materialistuc
Correct your spelling
materialistic
materialist
lifestyle might be grown. The manufacturing companies spend a huge amount of money
for
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on
show examples
Use synonyms
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
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to
people
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easily influence and
stimulate to
Verb problem
apply
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buy
such
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a
product
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like
act
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acts
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by
celebrity
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celebrities
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, songs and visuals.
As a result
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, the population buy more and more unwanted goods.
On the other hand
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, the
product
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's details and
informations
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information
pieces of information
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are contained in
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advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
in order
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the public can easily understand
about
Change preposition
apply
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a particular products
Correct the article-noun agreement
particular products
a particular product
show examples
such
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as how to
use
Correct pronoun usage
use it
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. The
ad
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can reduce the monopoly trend in
market
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the market
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because
people
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know about the
product
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's price and quality through advertisements,
therefore
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, they have a
chioce
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choice
to
Correct word choice
as to
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which brand they have to buy.
For instance
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, the
softdrinks
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soft drinks
manufacturing companies always try to attract and increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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's consumption behaviour by
reduce
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reducing
show examples
product
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cost
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costs
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in
market
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the market
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as compared to their
competitior's
Correct your spelling
competitor's
competitors
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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,
as a result
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, the population might
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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gotten more benefits.
To conclude
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, the
ad
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plays a
crucila
Correct your spelling
crucial
role in business. Even though
advertisement
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influences folks to purchase unwanted goods and
manupulates
Correct your spelling
manipulates
manipulate
manipulated
people
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are being
materialistic
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a materialistic
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lifestyle, reduce the monopoly situation and folks can know the
product
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's information. I strongly agree
with
Change preposition
that
show examples
the
advertisement
Use synonyms
stimulates the population to buy more and more unwanted
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay follows a clear and logical structure. Your paragraphs should have distinct and coherent ideas that connect smoothly to one another.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your essay. Your introduction should introduce the topic and preview your main points, while your conclusion should effectively summarize your argument.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with specific, relevant examples and explanations. General statements without evidence do not adequately support your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that you fully respond to the essay task. Address all parts of the prompt and provide a balanced discussion of both views before presenting your own opinion.
task achievement
Your ideas should be clearly and comprehensively presented. Use effective paragraphing, with one main idea per paragraph, and support your points with evidence and examples.
task achievement
To score higher on task achievement, your examples should be highly relevant and specific to the argument you are making. Avoid overly general examples that do not add weight to your position.
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