Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Although
the advancement of technology has increased drastically,
this
breakthough
Correct your spelling
breakthrough
affects a plethora of human lives, especially the
advertisement
.
However
, some say that the
ad
stimulates
people
to purchase unwanted
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
while
others believe that the broadcast
delrvers
Correct your spelling
delivers
more details about
a particular products
Correct the article-noun agreement
particular products
a particular product
show examples
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
may develop folk's lives. I will discuss both views and
also
state my perspective as the conclusion. On the one hand, advertisements
provokes
Change the verb form
provoke
show examples
mankind to lead
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
materialistic lifestyle.
People
buy things which they really do not need but the
ad
influences them to purchase frequently.
For example
, many children order products
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online shopping,
they
Correct word choice
but they
show examples
do not think about which is useful or not because they
Add a missing verb
are manupulated
show examples
manupulated
Correct your spelling
manipulated
by the
advertisement
,
thus
, money waste
as well as
Correct article usage
a materialistuc
show examples
materialistuc
Correct your spelling
materialistic
materialist
lifestyle might be grown. The manufacturing companies spend a huge amount of money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
to
people
easily influence and
stimulate to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
buy
such
a
product
like
act
Fix the agreement mistake
acts
show examples
by
celebrity
Fix the agreement mistake
celebrities
show examples
, songs and visuals.
As a result
, the population buy more and more unwanted goods.
On the other hand
, the
product
's details and
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
are contained in
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
in order
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the public can easily understand
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a particular products
Correct the article-noun agreement
particular products
a particular product
show examples
such
as how to
use
Correct pronoun usage
use it
show examples
. The
ad
can reduce the monopoly trend in
market
Add an article
the market
show examples
because
people
know about the
product
's price and quality through advertisements,
therefore
, they have a
chioce
Correct your spelling
choice
to
Correct word choice
as to
show examples
which brand they have to buy.
For instance
, the
softdrinks
Correct your spelling
soft drinks
manufacturing companies always try to attract and increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
's consumption behaviour by
reduce
Change the form of the verb
reducing
show examples
product
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
in
market
Add an article
the market
show examples
as compared to their
competitior's
Correct your spelling
competitor's
competitors
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
,
as a result
, the population might
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
gotten more benefits.
To conclude
, the
ad
plays a
crucila
Correct your spelling
crucial
role in business. Even though
advertisement
influences folks to purchase unwanted goods and
manupulates
Correct your spelling
manipulates
manipulate
manipulated
people
are being
materialistic
Add an article
a materialistic
show examples
lifestyle, reduce the monopoly situation and folks can know the
product
's information. I strongly agree
with
Change preposition
that
show examples
the
advertisement
stimulates the population to buy more and more unwanted
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay follows a clear and logical structure. Your paragraphs should have distinct and coherent ideas that connect smoothly to one another.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your essay. Your introduction should introduce the topic and preview your main points, while your conclusion should effectively summarize your argument.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with specific, relevant examples and explanations. General statements without evidence do not adequately support your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that you fully respond to the essay task. Address all parts of the prompt and provide a balanced discussion of both views before presenting your own opinion.
task achievement
Your ideas should be clearly and comprehensively presented. Use effective paragraphing, with one main idea per paragraph, and support your points with evidence and examples.
task achievement
To score higher on task achievement, your examples should be highly relevant and specific to the argument you are making. Avoid overly general examples that do not add weight to your position.

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