In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
In many places all over the world, it is suggested to relocate from rural to urban
area because
boost
Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
to
their industries and businesses.Change preposition
apply
Although
,
there are some drawbacks regarding human resources and Remove the comma
apply
commuiting
related difficulties, the advantages will outweigh the disadvantages.
On one hand, a group of individuals believe,Correct your spelling
commuting
computing
communicating
moving
factories from Correct word choice
that moving
cities
to Fix the agreement mistake
city
town
are
more difficult.Change the verb form
is
Firstly
, most of
Change preposition
apply
employee
will be jobless Add an article
the employee
due to
maintain
Change the verb form
maintaining
commute
when Correct pronoun usage
their commute
its
a matter of daily The impact would be directly on them Correct your spelling
it's
thoes
who Correct your spelling
those
works
in cities.Change the verb form
work
For example
, In bangladesh
Change the capitalization
Bangladesh
people
Add a comma
people,
those
who are living Correct pronoun usage
apply
under
below poverty and become Change preposition
apply
town oriented
,Add a hyphen
town-oriented
Correct word choice
and works
works
for livelihood are the main sufferers.Correct subject-verb agreement
work
Secondly
,the cost,that
is Correct pronoun usage
apply
an
another issue as the Remove the article
apply
industries
owner has to invest Change noun form
industry's
on
their project Change preposition
in
such
as construction
of buildings, decoration, products, VAT,tax , Add an article
the construction
labor
wage, and so on before earning any profit.
Change the spelling
labour
However
,all this
can be considered as disavantages
.
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
On the other hand
,Human resource
and Fix the agreement mistake
resources
environment
are the main Correct article usage
the environment
pillar
of the Change the noun form
pillars
town
which need to protect
by moving factories and industries Wrong verb form
be protected
related
Verb problem
apply
business
from city to village.Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
Therefore
,saving Correct article usage
the envirnment
envirnment
,people,Correct your spelling
environment
ecosystem
Correct word choice
and ecosystem
are
mainly the core point among all. Change the verb form
is
In addition
,land and all kind
of resources are very cheap in rural Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
comaratively
Correct your spelling
compared
from
Change preposition
to
town
and this
is super convenient for the business owner.
Moreover
, in
Change preposition
apply
Add an article
the village
village
are less Fix the agreement mistake
villages
trafic
and less crowded all over the country, so it would be a great deal to relocate from rural to urban.
In conclusion, many people Correct your spelling
traffic
encouraged
Add a missing verb
are encouraged
from
move Change preposition
to
to
Change preposition
from
town
to village because of
some reason. Though there are some difficulties,Change preposition
for
also
more advantages we can find.Submitted by hashi4728 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay lacks clear progression and logical structure. It is essential to organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. Use cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs logically.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but they are not effectively developed. Make sure that your introduction clearly paraphrases the question and outlines your position. The conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points and restate your overall opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
While the essay attempts to discuss the advantages and disadvantages, it does not provide adequate development of ideas. Main points are not well-supported with explanations or examples. Expand on your points and provide specific examples to illustrate your arguments.
Task Achievement
The essay does not fully address the task as the prompt asks if the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, which requires a discussion of both sides and a clear opinion. It is necessary to address all parts of the task, clearly present your view on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and explain why.
Task Achievement
Ideas presented in the essay are somewhat unclear and lack comprehensiveness. Ensure that your ideas are articulated clearly and directly relate to the prompt. Use appropriate vocabulary and grammar to express your ideas with clarity.
Task Achievement
The essay lacks relevant and specific examples to support the claims made. Including detailed examples can greatly enhance your argument and provide clarity. Try to incorporate real-world examples that accurately reflect the points you are trying to convey.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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