Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Discuss both options and give examples.

Nowadays every
home
has at least one
pet
. It argues that having
pets
at
home
is beneficial for
kids
.
While
others think that, it is harmful and not a healthy option. I agree that keeping
pets
is unhealthy and it causes many problems to
kids
.
This
essay will discuss both these views and explain my opinions in the ensuing paragraphs. On the one hand, there have been various problems arising
due to
having a
pet
at
home
. It may cause different health issues in
kids
.
Firstly
, the hairs and dust of
animals
leads to allergy problem. The bird dust or hairs of cats and dogs fly in the atmosphere and anyone who inhales those can have an allergy.
For example
, a study conducted in a local village shows that
kids
who are allergic to some kind of dust have a
pet
in their homes.
Secondly
, the waste of an animal is dangerous and if anyone consumes it will lead to serious illness. Infants and toddlers do not understand the difference between good and bad products. They may touch
Correct article usage
the wastes
show examples
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
show examples
of
animals
if they see anything on the ground. There are chances of
pets
waste
Wrong verb form
wasting
show examples
the ground.
As a result
, children may get ill.
On the other hand
, having
pets
at
home
has some advantages too.
Kids
get attached to them and they protect
kids
from strangers, especially dogs who do
this
job very well.
Moreover
, from childhood onwards
kids
understand the value of relationships if they have
animals
at
home
.
For instance
,
according to
the Northern University of The Pas, people who have domestic
animals
at
home
are very friendly and they value their relationship with other individuals.
To sum up
, keeping a
pet
is good for people as it helps to understand the bond between people.
However
, the consequences that it causes are higher than the benefits.
Hence
, in my perspective, it is better to say no to
animals
until
kids
are grown to know the difference between what is good and bad.
Submitted by rinuthomasmathew07 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction more accurately paraphrases the task prompt, and clearly state your main argument. Your introduction does not accurately reflect the task requirements, and it needs a clearer thesis statement expressing your viewpoint, and a preview of the points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to link your ideas effectively. Your essay lacks variety in its use of cohesive devices, resorting to simple conjunctions such as 'firstly' and 'secondly,' which can make the essay seem simplistic. Try to use a wider range of devices to enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Develop your main points with specific supporting details and examples. While you have provided some examples, they are not always clear or fully developed. Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, and use examples and details that clearly support that idea.
task achievement
The conclusion should concisely summarize the main points discussed in the essay without introducing new information. Your conclusion repeats your thesis but does not fully encapsulate the main points made in the body paragraphs nor reflects a balanced discussion as required by the task.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • companion
  • responsibility
  • care
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • social skills
  • transmit
  • diseases
  • allergies
  • safety risks
  • time
  • effort
  • money
  • mature
  • handle
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