Natural resources such as oil, forests and fresh water are being consumed at an alarming rate. What problems does this cause? How can we solve these problems?

In
a
Correct article usage
the
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modern world, a
highly
Change the adverb
high
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rate
consumption
Change preposition
of consumption
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of natural resources
such
as forests and
fresh water
Correct your spelling
freshwater
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causes the
destroying
Replace the word
destruction
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of biodiversity, which leads to
an
Correct article usage
the
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extinction of
animals
.
For solving
Change preposition
To solve
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these issues, biodiversity conservation plans should be a priority for each individual around the world.
The human
Correct article usage
Human
show examples
activities
such
as deforestation, lead to an unreversible impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature, as the ecosystem of the planet becomes destroyed more and more.
This
is a habitat for a variety of
animals
be it sea or forest creatures, which are at the edge of extinction
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days. The one crucial aspect
as
Change preposition
of
show examples
photosynthesis is reduced by forest cutting, which leads to an oxygen deficiency not only among
people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
animals
, which are
further
consumed by
people
. The resource extraction causes some gas emissions, making
a
Correct article usage
the
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percentage of oxygen in
air
Correct article usage
the air
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lower as much and causing anoxia among
people
living in industrial regions. Being able to
solving
Change the verb
solve
show examples
these problems,
people
should go green
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
sake
Add an article
the sake
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of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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saving
animals
and
an
Correct article usage
the
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environment where they live.
For instance
,
environmentally-friendly
Correct article usage
an environmentally-friendly
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life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
may help if
people
become
Verb problem
have
show examples
twice as much water and electricity economical by using solar panels as
for example
. Some big companies should
also
promote environmentalism and donate a percentage of their profits to support sustainable
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
.
Making
Change preposition
By making
show examples
eco-friendly as much as
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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it
Add a verb
it is
it was
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possible
their
Change preposition
in their
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factory activities, some companies can prevent a large usage of natural resources. These
also
may be helpful for changing
people
’s mindsets and persuading them to care about their
affects
Replace the word
effects
show examples
on natural resources. In conclusion,
for making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
the situation regarding the environment better, both folk and some large companies should maintain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmentalism.
Submitted by arinatiutina on

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Coherence and Cohesion
When discussing the problems caused by the consumption of natural resources, ensure that the introduction directly addresses the question and outlines the structure of the essay. Consider using clearer topic sentences to lead into each paragraph, thereby strengthening the logical structure.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on developing clear main points that directly answer the question. Each paragraph should contain one clear main idea and this should be supported by specific and relevant examples or evidence.
Task Achievement
Strive for a more complete response to the task by discussing the problems caused by the depletion of natural resources more comprehensively. Ensure that each problem is backed by clear explanations and relevant examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
To achieve higher coherence in your essay, make sure each paragraph flows naturally from one to the next with clear transitions. This involves ordering your ideas logically and using cohesive devices effectively.
Task Achievement
For a better score in task response, provide a more fully developed solution for each problem mentioned. These solutions should be practical, detailed, and relevant to the problems being addressed in the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • non-renewable resources
  • economic instability
  • water shortages
  • agricultural production
  • deforestation
  • biodiversity
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • global warming
  • sustainable management
  • conservation
  • alternative energy
  • afforestation
  • reforestation
  • water conservation
  • responsible consumption
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