Research has shown that spending less time in the office can reduce the use of energy (for example, electricity, gas). Thus some companies close for some days a week. Do this advantage of this development outhweight the disadvantage.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
For many years we have
a
Add a missing verb
had a
show examples
trend of working from offices and now, for
Correct article usage
the natural
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natural
Correct article usage
the natural
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resources economy, scientists
made
Verb problem
have
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Correct article usage
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research
Replace the word
researched
show examples
Change preposition
apply
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about
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apply
show examples
spending less time in the familiar
work space
Correct your spelling
workspace
show examples
to reduce the usage of energy
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
electricity and gas. In
this
essay, I will analyze the advantages and disadvantages of
this
issue. The conclusion of working from different
places
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
from
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
has some advantages made by
study
Add an article
the study
a study
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of today's situation with the energy consumption by office's buildings.
Firstly
, as the results of research say the main advantage is consuming less energy when employees have online days on their
work
.
Secondly
,
this
idea may help with
another problems
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another problem
other problems
show examples
such
as traffic jams
in
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on
show examples
the
most busy
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busiest
show examples
days like Monday and Friday, because after and before
holidays
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the holidays
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employees don'
t
have to go
by
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on
show examples
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
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or public transport to their usual
places
of
work
.
Moreover
, one more advantage is about
mental
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the mental
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healths
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health
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of
cowerkers
Correct your spelling
coworkers
because
thay
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they
may have some days without overcrowded offices
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
would help
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
solve some conflicts between them.
On the other hand
, we have some minuses that would impact
on
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apply
show examples
many people or companies. The main disadvantage of
this
decision is that many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
employees don'
t
have another place of
work
as
coworking
Correct article usage
a coworking
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zone and they don'
t
have an opportunity to
work
from home be many reasons.
Similarly
Add a comma
Similarly,
show examples
problem is about the environment that workers can'
t
have at home,
hence
companies have to pay
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
environment and bills of different
places
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
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or coworking zones.
To conclude
, even with
cons
Correct article usage
the cons
show examples
in
this
topic, we have
enought
Correct your spelling
enough
strong pluses that show many positive findings of the decision to
work
from
another
Replace the adjective
another place
other places
show examples
places
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
from companies' offices.
Submitted by ushak.2004.80 on

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introduction conclusion present
The essay needs a clearer introductory paragraph that directly addresses the question posed. The introduction should provide a succinct overview of the arguments to be discussed, clearly stating whether the advantages or disadvantages are believed to outweigh one another.
supported main points
The main points of the essay need development through more varied and relevant examples, as well as deeper analysis. Evidence or scenarios can be introduced to strengthen the argument and make it more convincing.
complete response
You should ensure that the essay maintains a clear position throughout in response to the question. The current response does not definitively state whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
logical structure
Work on the structure of the essay to improve its logical flow. Transitions between paragraphs and ideas should be smoother, with clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
clear comprehensive ideas
Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, with sentences that are logically connected to support that idea. Consider the use of conjunctions and cohesive devices to improve the cohesion of the text.
relevant specific examples
To enhance the essay, include specific and relevant examples that are directly related to the topic. These examples will illustrate your points more clearly and provide concrete evidence for your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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