IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the electricity consumption in different sectors of Eastern Europe in 2007 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make the comparisons where relevant

The charts below show the electricity consumption in different sectors of Eastern Europe in 2007 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make the comparisons where relevant
The pie charts depict the consumption of electricity in various sections of Eastern Europe from 2007 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 Transport,Residential, Commercial and Agriculture were in similar proportions and others were became increased and decrease considerable percentage after 3 years.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 with in 2007 and 2010 Transport,Residential, Commercial and Agriculture
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
remained the same proportion
such
Linking Words
 as 1%, 28%, 23%,and 0.80 respectively.
Although
Linking Words
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 four categories were increased some
perentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
. In 2007, other
meatals
Correct your spelling
metals
 electricity usage were in 12.30%. After the 3
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased
5
Change preposition
by 5
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% which is
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
18.30%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Mining
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased
0.4
Change preposition
by 0.4
show examples
% in 2010,
to compare
Change the verb form
compared
show examples
 with
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2007.
However
Linking Words
,
Manufacturing
Correct article usage
the Manufacturing
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 and Aluminium sectors
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased their consumption of energy which is 8.50% and 11.00% orderly.
Finally
Linking Words
, in
contrase
Correct your spelling
contrast
 both these years maximum usage of electricity
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was revealed in Residential
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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