IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it did not work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken. Write a letter to the shop manager. In your letter • describe the problem with the equipment • explain what happened when you phoned the shop • say what you would like the manager to do.

#piece #equipment #kitchen #work #shop #action #manager
Dear sir/ madam I'm writing to inform you that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am one of your
customer
Change to a plural noun
customers
show examples
 at your
shop
. I bought a rice cooker and mixer yesterday at your
shop
, but
rice
Correct article usage
the rice
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 cooker did not work.
Rice
Add an article
A rice
The rice
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 cooker can not turn on, and the light indicator does not turn on too. Yesterday, I called your
shop
customer
 service number by phone, but they did not answer me. Just for your information, l called
twice
Rephrase
apply
show examples
your
customer
 service at different
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
. The
shop
need
Wrong verb form
needs
show examples
improve
Fix the infinitive
to improve
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 how to handle
complaint
Fix the agreement mistake
complaints
show examples
Change preposition
from customer
show examples
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
 because it is so bad. They need more training
how
Change preposition
on how
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 to
fast
Rephrase
quickly
show examples
 respond
Change preposition
to customer
show examples
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
 and
multitasking
Wrong verb form
multitask
show examples
. I hope my problem
fix
Wrong verb form
is fixed
show examples
 as soon as possible. Yours faithfully, Andri
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the letter follows a clear, logical structure with appropriate paragraphing. Each paragraph should present a distinct point
coherence cohesion
Use suitable greetings and sign-offs for formal letters. Begin with 'Dear [Title] [Surname]', if known, and conclude with 'Yours sincerely' if the name is known, or 'Yours faithfully' if it is not
task achievement
Focus on fully addressing the bullet points in the task. Each bullet point should correspond to a specific part of the letter, ensuring all aspects of the prompt are covered
task achievement
Maintain a formal and polite tone throughout the letter. Avoid informal language and ensure requests are made respectfully

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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