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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, plastic money replacements such as credit and debit cards are extremely popular, even more than banknotes and coin. Advantages and Disadvantages

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It is believed that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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digital
money
Use synonyms
 is more famous than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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physical
money
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as coins and banknotes.
This
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 essay will address the potential benefits and drawbacks of
such
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 replacements
has on
Verb problem
for
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 individuals and
society
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 with relevant examples. On the one hand, there are a plethora of benefits
in
Change preposition
to
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 the usage of plastic
money
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.
To begin
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 with, credit and debit cards are convenient to use anywhere compared to cash because the
money
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 is transferred digitally to the
receipient
Correct your spelling
recipient
 and there are no physical transactions involved.
As a result
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, it saves time and promotes safe transfers through the digital technology.
Additionally
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, when compared to banknotes people no longer need to
Add a missing verb
be concern
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concern
Replace the word
concerned
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 about crimes
such
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 as pitpockets which has increased
the
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apply
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security in terms of
money
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 management.
For instance
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, in Western countries, retailers and wholesalers are digitalised which
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 reduced the need
of
Change preposition
for
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 frequent visits to banks.
However
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,
such
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 replacements
poses
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pose
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 more threats to
society
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 than cash dealings.
That is
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 to say that the risk of online hackers
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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has the potential to steal
money
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 by capturing the card details during transactions using the hacking applications. Despite physical crime , online crime has become more prevalent in our digital age which is associated with greater risks in terms of managing
money
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.
For example
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, in India, machines were designed to capture the pin details of credit cards used in ATM machines was a popular crime news
posed
Correct pronoun usage
that posed
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 a serious threat to
society
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. In conclusion, there are many positives and negatives of using plastic
money
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. The government must enforce
the
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apply
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protective measures to prevent online crimes which
allows
Change the verb form
allow
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 people to enjoy the complete benefits of
cash-free
Correct article usage
a cash-free
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society
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction should set the tone and present the topics to be discussed, while the conclusion should summarise the main points without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Aim for a logical progression of ideas, with clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that are then elaborated upon throughout the paragraph. Don't jump back and forth between advantages and disadvantages without clear transitions.
task achievement
For task achievement, address all parts of the task directly. The question asks for advantages and disadvantages, and these should be discussed equally and thoroughly. Your introduction could more explicitly outline what these advantages and disadvantages will be.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are clear and easy to understand. Avoid complex ideas or examples if they are not clearly connected to the main point of the paragraph or if they can't be fully explained within the scope of the essay.
task achievement
Provide specific and relevant examples to support your points. These examples need to be clear and directly related to the advantages and disadvantages being discussed. Avoid vague or general statements that could apply to multiple scenarios.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the punctuation, especially comma usage, to ensure clarity of meaning and to appropriately separate clauses.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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