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Band 6

The graph below show the population figures of different types of turtles in India between 1980 and 2012

The graph below show the population figures of different types of turtles in India between 1980 and 2012
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The line graph displays how the population of various
turtles
Use synonyms
 changed in India from 1980 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, all
species
Use synonyms
 were equal in
Use synonyms
index
Add an article
the index
show examples
 in the beginning and,
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 numbers of indices
all
Change preposition
for all
show examples
species
Use synonyms
 have fluctuated over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it went up slightly
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
time
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, Olive Ridley
turtles
Use synonyms
 could
achieved
Change the verb form
achieve
show examples
 the highest influx among others. Olive ridley
turtles
Use synonyms
 were 100 indexed in 1980
as
Rephrase
apply
show examples
same as
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two types,
although
Linking Words
 it surpassed the number remaining types in 1986 as it was nearly 11.
This
Linking Words
species
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 rocketed to almost 135 in 1997, marking its
maxium
Correct your spelling
maximum
 number
thereafter
Linking Words
.
Then
Linking Words
 following a series of
fluctautions
Correct your spelling
fluctuations
,
finally
Linking Words
 the count was approximately 130 in 2012. During the whole
time
Use synonyms
 period, the total population
index
Use synonyms
was fluctuating
Wrong verb form
fluctuated
show examples
 as it increased from 10 indices
since
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1980
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
 100
index
Use synonyms
. Green
turtles
Use synonyms
 were the most prominent
species
Use synonyms
 until 1984, as it was nearly
index
Use synonyms
 of 105,
however
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 fluctuated over the
time
Use synonyms
 course
while
Linking Words
 it remained as the second highest
species
Use synonyms
 from 1987 to 2012.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
2012, it declined
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
Use synonyms
index
Correct article usage
an index
show examples
 of 90.
Leather back
Correct your spelling
Leatherback
show examples
turtles
Use synonyms
 were equal with
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in population
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1987
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
but it had a steep drop down
thereafter
Linking Words
. Its count
finally
Linking Words
 was 60 which was the least among all others.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally, however, thereafter".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words turtles, species, index, time with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Endangered species
  • Conservation efforts
  • Biodiversity
  • Ecosystem
  • Poaching
  • Habitat loss
  • Reproductive rates
  • Predation
  • Environmental changes
  • Climate impact
  • Ecological significance
  • Species decline
  • Protection measures
  • Wildlife management
  • Population trend
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