some people believe using modern technology (digital photographs, blogs) is the best way to record and remember important personal events. Others think that the traditional method( making photoalbums, writing diaries) is better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.1

Nowadays
the
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apply
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technology has
been improve
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improved
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a lot from the past I have many alternative
way
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ways
show examples
to record or remember
the
Correct article usage
apply
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important
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
in the past. Some
people
like to use digital photographs to store a moment that very
impact
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a impact
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to
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on
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you
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
in the past. Others think
to save
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saving
show examples
it in the pattern of
photoalbums
Correct your spelling
photo albums
and writing diaries is better. In the following paragraph, both of these view
point
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points
show examples
will be discussed in detail before a conclusion
is reach
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is reached
show examples
. On the one hand,
group
Correct article usage
the group
show examples
of
people
that think that
traditional
Correct article usage
the traditional
show examples
method is better, I think they should be
adult
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adults
show examples
people
or old age
people
because in the past our
parent
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parents
show examples
and grandparent
alway
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always
keep
Wrong verb form
kept
show examples
the important event that they did not forget
it
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apply
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in the form of
photoalbums
Correct your spelling
photo albums
and diaries. The reason why they think it
better
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is better
show examples
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
it is a physical they can touch that
make
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makes
show examples
you
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
feel happier than
see
Wrong verb form
seeing
show examples
it on the phone.
Lastly
Add a comma
Lastly,
show examples
the most important reason is they did not have great technology
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to the present.
On the other hand
,
People
who like to keep
in
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apply
show examples
a type of modern technology because you can see it every time that you want,
Moreover
Rephrase
apply
show examples
if you keep
in
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
type of paper photo,It
easier
Add a missing verb
is easier
show examples
to lose it.
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
if you save
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
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the internet you have no way to lose it but If you forget the password on the platform that you save it you could
be lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
it too. In conclusion,both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct article usage
the viewpoint
show examples
viewpoint
Fix the agreement mistake
viewpoints
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it
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apply
show examples
have their own advantages and disadvantages but In my opinion I like the latter method more than the first method because If
i
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I
show examples
keep my memory in my
photoalbums
Correct your spelling
photo albums
I will lose it anyways.
Submitted by titakron2558 on

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introduction conclusion present
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supported main points
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logical structure
Link ideas and paragraphs using a variety of cohesive devices and transitions to improve the flow of the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Make sure the opinion is clear and consistent throughout the essay, particularly in the conclusion where it should be restated and elaborated.
relevant specific examples
Use relevant examples to support your arguments. Develop these examples to showcase your understanding of the topic.
complete response
You must address all parts of the task to achieve a higher score in task achievement. Ensure that the essay discusses both views and your opinion is clear.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • record
  • remember
  • important
  • personal events
  • modern technology
  • digital photographs
  • blogs
  • traditional method
  • photoalbums
  • writing diaries
  • advantages
  • convenient
  • easily accessible
  • store
  • memories
  • share
  • connect
  • edited
  • enhanced
  • quality
  • backed up
  • protected
  • damage
  • tangible
  • sentimental value
  • personal
  • reflective experience
  • passed down
  • generations
  • nostalgia
  • authenticity
  • break
  • screen time
  • opinion
  • conclusion
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