The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement

There are plenty of discussions about the science’s aim.
While
an array of masses argue that science should concentrate on
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhancing
show examples
living
Add an article
the living
show examples
standard of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
, others emphasize that there are more fields that
scientists
need to pay attention to many fields
such
as space exploration.
This
essay strongly
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
that people’s lives
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
undeniably essential and it is the mission of
scientists
in the context of the 21st century. First and foremost, there is no doubt that myriads of cures and
treatment
Fix the agreement mistake
treatments
show examples
, which have been conducted by experts, are original from scientific research. During
Correct article usage
the Covid-19
show examples
Correct article usage
the Covid-19
show examples
Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
show examples
pandemic, there are a large number of people have died from the virus. But thanks to the vaccine, the spread of illness
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
been lessened. Before Covid-19, there
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
several diseases but all of them had been cured by research and medicine.
Moreover
,
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientists
can develop innovations which
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
to a better understanding
Change preposition
of
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
medicine. In the future, there will be more findings to improve people’s quality
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
as well as
create more new technological devices.
Furthermore
, science can be crucial in addressing environmental issues. The explanations from professionals will help us know the complex problems and essential solutions.
For example
,
there
Correct word choice
if there
show examples
is a polluted habitat, they will find out the reasons, suggest a way to reduce pollution and take advantage of waste where the recycling process is available.
Moreover
,
scientists
usually encourage some alternative energy
such
as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
solar
panel
Fix the agreement mistake
panels
show examples
to decrease the amount of fossil fuel we consume daily. In conclusion, I totally agree that science may be used as a tool to improve our society. In the future, there are increasingly remarkable issues and
scientists
must have an impact on solutions.
Submitted by tonykim09 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Be cautious with generalized statements without clear supporting details. Rather than making broad statements about scientific achievements, provide clear and specific examples to solidify your argument.
coherence & cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure with well-defined paragraphs. Each paragraph should ideally contain one main idea followed by supporting details.
coherence & cohesion
Develop your ideas more thoroughly. While you have touched upon several areas where science improves lives, go further in elaborating on these points with concrete examples and explanations.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: