IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. Writing Task 1

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. Writing Task 1
#expenditure #three #categories #age #groups #residents #uk #summaries #information #features #comparisons
The given bar graph shows the data about the proportions of folks who
spends
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
 more on the aspects that are in three types of
expenditure
.
Overall
, it is clearly seen that most people
spends
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
 on food items and
entertainmenty
Correct your spelling
entertainment
 purpose,
wheareas
Correct your spelling
whereas
 the least interest is seen in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
acomadation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 purposes
particularly
Add the comma(s)
, particularly
show examples
 in the 61-75 age
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
as well as
 76+ aged folks. It is very informative. Well, there are
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 of lot changes on the whole.
To begin
 with, in
the the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of age group under 30,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of the
expenditure
 occurs behalf of
accomadation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
. Nearly, the
amount
 of money
spends
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 on entertainment is less than the
resturant
Correct your spelling
restaurant
restaurants
 and hotels.
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
 the
amount
 of
expenditure
 spends on
accomadation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 is approximately
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 for the age group of 31-45 and 45-60.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 continuously the
amount
 of
expenditure
 drops down. Rolling towards the rest of the information,
expenditure
amount
 of food and drinks constantly increasing. Meanwhile, Food and drinks
reachs
Correct your spelling
reaches
reach
 the highest position
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the chart.
Submitted by insighttribez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words expenditure, amount with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: