The best way to solve traffic and transportation problems is to encourage people to live in cities rather than suburbs or countryside. What extent do you agree or disagree?

Some argue that the optimal solution for
transportation
is to incentivise citizens to live in
cities
instead
of the outer area or the countryside. I strongly disagree with
this
viewpoint as
this
would require
Correct article usage
an advance
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advance
Replace the word
advanced
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transportation
system
and can lead to severe environmental pollution and social problems. The opponents may argue that when citizens live in
cities
more than in the countryside, the need for commuting will decrease.
However
, they should take into account that
this
solution will require
cities
to improve their public
transportation
system
, which not all
cities
can afford. Take,
for instance
, before Bangkok
can
Wrong verb form
could
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encourage
people
to live in the
city
Change noun form
city's
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central area, they had to build an effective
system
for
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of
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transportation
means that consisted of a myriad of vehicles
such
as
skytrains
Correct your spelling
strains
and buses, which involved a significant time and money to develop, build and operate
On the other hand
,
while
people
can reduce their need for travel when they live in
cities
, the large number of
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
will strain the environment and cause more problems. The reason is that as the population
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
, the number of garbage and trash will grow
accordingly
, putting a heavy burden on the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
For example
, with a population of 8 million
people
, Hanoi is estimated to have to process 100 tons of trash
everyday
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every day
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,
making
Verb problem
putting
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the urban sanitation
system
under constant pressure in order to keep the city clean. In conclusion,
while
incentivising
people
to
leave
Correct your spelling
live
show examples
in central
cities
Fix the agreement mistake
city
show examples
areas can reduce the need for travel,
this
solution will involve significant funds to improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
transportation
and cause more pollution for the environment.
Therefore
, I strongly disagree with
this
viewpoint.
Submitted by tieuvuphuonghoa on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. In this essay, the introduction and conclusion are present but lack clarity, which may cause confusion about the essay's position and summary of the arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop logical connections between ideas and ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs. While there is some structure, it could be improved with better transitions and more cohesive devices.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a variety of sentence structures to clearly support your main points. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single argument and provides sufficient evidence to support it.
Task Achievement
Address the prompt fully and make sure to answer all parts of the question. Your essay has attempted to do so, but ensure the response directly answers the question posed without digressing.
Task Achievement
Express your ideas clearly and in a structured manner. While the essay presents ideas related to the topic, the clarity and depth of explanation could be enhanced for a more convincing argument.
Task Achievement
Include relevant examples to support your points, ensuring they directly relate to the topic. The examples in your essay are relevant but require further development and a clearer link to the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban sprawl
  • public transport infrastructure
  • commutes
  • residential density
  • ecological footprint
  • overcrowding
  • urban planning
  • car-sharing
  • traffic management
  • rural preservation
  • transportation policies
  • electric vehicles
  • sustainable living
  • incentivize
  • telecommuting
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