IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #visitors #countries #customs #behaviour #host #country #differences
Tourism around the
world
 is developing and the number of tourists visiting
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
country
 is
also
 increasing.
This
 has led people to create two groups, one who so supports the host
country
, that should accept diverse cultures for those
visitors
while
 the other group believes that the tourists should explore and follow local customs and traditions. I support the second statement. The
country
 should be well prepared in terms of tourist guides to receive
visitors
 from around the
world
. They should be well informed about
culture
Correct article usage
the culture
show examples
 and tradition of the visitor who is visiting the
country
 as per those who
accepts
Correct subject-verb agreement
accept
show examples
 cultural differences.
This
 helps them to explore different cultures of the outside
world
 within the
country
.
Moreover
 advantageous towards guests, who need not have to explore and get necessary information to avoid cultural shock.
However
, the other group is against it. Understanding the meaning of tourist and their purpose of visiting , they really want to know something about the place they visit. Considering
such
 purpose having guides with all the information of their own
country
 means the
country
’s pride.
To meet their
Verb problem
Their
show examples
 ultimate intention of visiting the
country
 can be fulfilled by experiencing the diverse culture of the
country
.
For Example
, people across the
world
 visit Bhutan to learn about its distinct culture, where they wear traditional clothes and visit festivals. They say only
then
, they feel complete. In
this
 context, with the interests of
visitors
, the host should be prepared to offer them choices.
To conclude
 my writing, the host
country
 is responsible for the visitor’s choices. They should treat the
visitors
 not the
visitors
 who have to accept the cultural diversity
Submitted by rinchennima77 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
You should aim to present a fully developed position in response to the question with relevant, fully extended and well supported ideas. Avoid presenting a one-sided viewpoint when the task specifically asks you to discuss both views.
coherence cohesion
Logically organize your ideas to improve coherence and cohesion. Use paragraphing adequately and appropriately, with clear topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
language
Strive for grammatical range and accuracy, as well as a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the quality of your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural understanding
  • cultural harmony
  • local customs and behaviours
  • host country's traditions
  • unintentional offense
  • enhance the travel experience
  • cultural fabric
  • inclusive society
  • diverse society
  • global understanding
  • mutual respect
  • respect for local customs
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!