The funds for postgraduate research are limited; therefore, some people think that financial support from the government should be provided. However, only scientific research should be funded, rather than other, less useful subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In order for
government
and the societies they control to improve, it is necessary that support
be provided to the next generation of thinkers that
pursue postgraduate studies. With Correct pronoun usage
who
this
idea of government
support
in mind, we have to consider putting all of the funding towards science
, which is the controversial stance that some desire. Providing the entirety of the money towards science
is a horrible idea, as arts and the
Correct article usage
apply
communication
are equally deserving of this
postgraduate financing.
Although
some might support
the idea of only funding science
, they would be incorrect because the Arts are just as valuable and deserving of monetary support
. Not only does art
promote creativity, but also
it enlightens others to
culture in Change preposition
about
ways
that science
cannot accomplish. Science
is an example of creativity, but it is not as expressive as art
because when we witness art
we get a glimpse of the nature of the universe and the creative insights of the human brain in ways
not limited by science
. In addition
to this
convincing point, one of the primary ways
we learn about other cultures is when their art
is brought to our museums, and science
is more universal which means it does not get into specific culture
norms. The arguments presented here are convincing, but we have one more persuasive topic to cover.
The Replace the word
cultural
government
should provide funds to
postgraduate Change preposition
for
communication
studies because they are equally impactful as science
. Where would our world be if we had not become better at solving problems and enhancing relationships through better communication
? Many potential world wars have been resolved without bloodshed because of former postgraduate students who specialized in negotiation (communication
), and therefore
the government
should support
this
field. Moving on to the next argument, some might state that science
has improved relationships with social media; however
, studies show that people are worse in their face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
communication
, and as result
giving money to postgraduates who study relationship Correct article usage
a result
communication
will improve us in ways
that science
cannot. These supporting points show why we should not support
only science
.
There is too much focus on science
in our modern times and as a
result
we are losing the aspects of ourselves that have gotten through changes in civilization. Add a comma
result,
Science
has been looked Change preposition
at as
as
almost having god-like qualities, but actually the areas of Change preposition
at as
art
and communication
are equally valuable. Successful relationships are based on communication
, not science
.Submitted by abdullahalsheeha18 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay is partially responsive to the task, but the arguments need to be more fully extended and substantiated with relevant examples. To fully meet the task achievement criteria, ensure that your position is clearly presented throughout the essay and develops a well-supported argument, citing examples that illustrate your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay could be significantly improved. Think about organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a clear main idea followed by supporting sentences that develop that idea. Transitions between the ideas could be smoother. Aim for coherence in your argument by ensuring each paragraph logically follows from the one before, leading the reader through your points in a clear and organized manner.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example