IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You recently attended a training course for your work. Your employer has asked you for your feedback on the training course. Write a letter to your employer. In your letter remind your employer what the course was about explain why the course was useful to you in your work suggest why the course may not be suitable for some of your other colleagues

#course #work #employer #feedback #colleagues
Dear Mr. Ariani I am writing to give you
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
feedback with regard to the communicational skill course that I recently
participate
Change the form of the verb
participated
show examples
 in, as you requested. Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the purpose of
this
 course was mainly to enhance our soft skills in a working environment, most of its lessons were
tought
Correct your spelling
taught
 by a professional psychologist. He
intruduced
Correct your spelling
introduced
 us
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 newest techniques for
communicate
Change the verb form
communicating
show examples
 with people from different social classes. I find
this
courese
Correct your spelling
course
 very useful for me because the fact that I
wokr
Correct your spelling
work
 as a member of the representative group of our company and
Correct pronoun usage
my communicational
show examples
communicational
Replace the word
communication
show examples
 skills would be of significant importance for us to be able to persuade our customers to buy our products. So I think others from our department should join
this
 course as well.
However
, courses like
this
 will not be beneficial for those who work in other sectors like the production lane. For them, I believe, learning hard skills would be of prime importance. So I think you might need to provide them with more useful courses
according
Add the preposition
according to
show examples
 their special jobs. I look forward to hearing from you about any
further
 courses
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
 regard. Yours Faithfully, Arash Abbasi
Submitted by greatsoloist on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea for enhanced clarity. While the letter did delineate the ideas, clearer paragraphing could further improve the coherence of the text.
task achievement
Include a specific example or detail about how the communication skills gained from the course have already been applied to your role or how you envision applying them. This will strengthen the explanation of the course's usefulness.
task achievement
Avoid grammatical errors such as 'I am writing to give you a feedback,' which should be 'I am writing to give you feedback.' Pay close attention to article use and pluralization to avoid minor errors that can impact the overall score.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a formal tone consistently throughout the letter. Be careful with informal contractions or casual language.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Training program
  • Skill enhancement
  • Job responsibilities
  • Practical exercises
  • Hands-on experience
  • Operational efficiency
  • Subject matter
  • Prerequisites
  • Specialized knowledge
  • Teaching methodology
  • Learning preferences
  • Feedback
  • Course facilitator
  • Professional development
  • Engagement
  • Interactive components
What to do next:
Look at other essays: