Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

There is an argument that any unpleasing situations like poverty or engaging in unsatisfied employment need to be accepted as they are,
while
others support
towards
Change preposition
apply
show examples
putting effort
on
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into
show examples
improving
such
situations. I strongly believe that a person should try
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
his or her level best to overcome any obstacles coming along the way to success.
This
essay will discuss both these opinions with examples. Accepting being poor or having a bad job without complaining can
make
Verb problem
give
show examples
people
to have
Verb problem
apply
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peace
in
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of
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
minds
Fix the agreement mistake
mind
show examples
without getting those negative things to affect the remaining happiness of their lives.
For example
, a man with a job which gives the minimum payment to cover his meals can think that it is the best opportunity for him to be happy
about
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apply
show examples
as he is better off than those who are starving to death. At the same time, people can be happy that they are not beggars and
whatever
Correct word choice
that whatever
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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occupation they were offered is the best gift received from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
God.
On the other hand
, it is better to put some effort
on
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into
show examples
improving the
life
conditions and sociodemographic background of a person,
other
Correct your spelling
rather
show examples
than accepting only what is available and being idle. Lower-level workers in a company can work hard and impress the seniors with successful achievements allowing them to upgrade to the next level of their jobs.
By achieving
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Achieving
show examples
success in one's role at an organization will raise the company
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
to a better platform where the individuals will
also
be given more benefits. In conclusion, the situation and conditions of
life
can be improved even with little effort towards success. Though there is an argument that it is the best thing to accept
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
as
with
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apply
show examples
whatever there, it is better to work with enthusiasm in improving the quality of
life
.
Submitted by shabnamoutokesh on

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task achievement
Your essay clearly presents the topic and both sides of the argument. However, the examples used could be more specific and relevant to better illustrate your points. Ensure the examples are directly linked to the central argument and clarify how they support the position you are discussing.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay shows an understanding of essay organization; nevertheless, transitions between ideas could be smoother. Make sure that each paragraph flows naturally into the next, and use cohesive devices strategically to enhance the clarity and persuasiveness of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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