Some teachers think that international student exchange programs would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages?
A fraction of the lecturers hold the notion that
,
international graduates changing their study policy would be beneficial
for high school pupils. Remove the comma
apply
This
essay will delve into the merits and demerits of international students
changing their program and I try to arrive rational conclusion.
To begin
with, there are numerous advantages of exchange courses
.Initially
, admission can easy to access interested
Replace the word
interesting
courses
, to be clear, students
could enrol in various program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
according to
their preferences.International enlistment move
to Change the verb form
moves
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
coursecourses
which helps Correct your spelling
course courses
course-courses
students
can easy to join their interested courses
.Moreover
, graduates migrate other
Change preposition
to other
community
to explore traditions and cultures.Fix the agreement mistake
communities
In other words
, students
Rephrase
when students
move
to foreign countries they experience different cultures.For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
the
large number of graduates moved to Canada to study science-related Change the article
a
courses
with the help of modern technologies.
Furthermore
, most of the universities charge huge pay on
demanded Change preposition
for
courses
. To expand, students
move
to other nations to study helps to decrease the demand for particular Wrong verb form
moving
courses
and avoid unnecessary fees as well . For instance
, educational institutions charge huge amount
of fees for B.S.C. nursing so children might go to Germany for limited fees colleges. Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
Although
, deterioration human
resources Change preposition
of human
from
the home country.To elaborate, people are the asset of each nation, Change preposition
in
pupils
who Correct word choice
and pupils
move
to foreign nations lose human resources as well.
Recapitulate international students
' exchange courses
help
to increase the availability and helps to Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
decline
Verb problem
decrease
fee
structure of the various demanded Correct article usage
the fee
courses
as well.Even though it might chance to decline human
resources of the home country most of the intiligent Change preposition
in human
students
settled in other nations.Submitted by jibinjoshi49 on
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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak. The text lacks clear and logically ordered paragraphs. Ideas are often disconnected and unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow your argument. It is crucial to use clear paragraphing with a logical sequence of ideas (introduction, body paragraphs, conclusion) and to ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion of the essay are not clearly defined, and the purpose of the essay is not made clear from the beginning. An effective essay should have an introductory paragraph where you paraphrase the question and state your opinion, and a conclusion that succinctly summarises the main points and restates your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are somewhat supported but lack clear development and explanation. For higher coherence and cohesion scores, supporting ideas need to be expanded upon with clarity and sufficient detail, including explanations and relevant examples to back up your points.
task achievement
While you have addressed the task, your response is only partially complete because you have not covered all aspects of the question in detail. You need to fully address both the advantages and the disadvantages of the issue presented to achieve a higher score. Furthermore, it is necessary to ensure that your answer remains focused on the main topic throughout the essay.
task achievement
The ideas presented are not consistently clear and comprehensive. Effort should be made to clearly state your ideas and ensure they are complete and well-understood. Ensure that each paragraph contains a single, well-defined idea, and use cohesive devices effectively to link your ideas together.
task achievement
The use of specific examples to support your argument is limited, and the examples provided are not entirely relevant or detailed enough to strengthen your argument. To improve, incorporate appropriate and specific examples to substantiate your arguments.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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