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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table shows the percentages of people with mobile phones who use various features on their phone.

The table shows the percentages of people with mobile phones who use various features on their phone.
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The chart
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 information about the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people with telephones who use
for
Correct pronoun usage
them for
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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different purposes on their phones from 2006 to 2010. As can be seen from the chart people used all their phones only to make a call to others between 2006,2008 and 2010. The least used phone feature was record video in 2008
buy
Correct your spelling
but
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 it increased dramatically from 9 % to 35% during 2 years. The percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
taking photos grew minimally
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
from 66% to 71%, from 71% to 76% between 2006 and 2010. The proportion of the send messages and
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 messages started to grow from 73% to 75%, from 75% to 79% between 2006,2008 and 2010.
Play
Correct your spelling
The
show examples
 games feature of the phones wasn’t popular in 2006. The percentage of the play games was 17%,42% and 41% during 4 years .
And
Correct word choice
Then
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then
Linking Words
 the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
play music
feature
Fix the agreement mistake
features
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 rose gradually from 12% to 18% , from 18% to 26% in 2006,2008 and 2010 respectively.

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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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