Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

School is a place to learn and gain knowledge that will be useful in life. Some
students
might be intellectually better than others,
therefore
they will show better academic
results
and people think that we should appreciate the
students
more.
On the other hand
, some
students
might not start academically good, but show
results
through improvement over time and people think we should appreciate the
students
more.
This
essay will elaborate on these opinions, and in my opinion,
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
should appreciate not only high achievers
students
but any
students
who show curiosity and the willingness to learn regardless of the result. The academic result is the outcome of many things.
Students
could achieve a better outcome because of various things not only their effort, but
also
by external factors
such
as family background, environment, facilities, and privileges that the student
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
. Some people think that
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
should give them rewards.
Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, I believe that schools have already
gave
Change the verb form
given
show examples
appreciation and gifts to the
students
who achieved higher ranks among their
peer
Fix the agreement mistake
peers
show examples
. Meanwhile, some
students
might not have some privileges at the beginning. They may not have
tutor
Fix the agreement mistake
tutors
show examples
at home and did not have any facilities at home and the outcome is lower academic
results
. Over time, they began to learn and improve because of their interest in the subject. I believe
students
who genuinely learn because of curiosity will make better use of the knowledge later in life and teachers did not acknowledge
this
kind of student. Schools did not give them rewards
due to
the average
results
and
therefore
I think teachers should appreciate them more. In conclusion, rewarding and appreciating
students
with the best academic
results
are good but it would be better to
also
give rewards to the
students
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
improve themselves over time even though with average
results
.
Submitted by sirendendeago on

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Your ideas lack clear development through relevant examples; the essay includes several general statements that could be substantiated with specific illustrations. Providing concrete examples and deeper analysis related to the prompt would enhance your essay's impact.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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